Talk:2010 Aaron's 499/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:01, 15 June 2010 (UTC) Overall, this is a pretty good article, but I have some concerns:[reply]

"officials decided that they would change from the rear wing to the rear spoiler which debuted in the 2010 Goody's Fast Pain Relief 500." Can that be explained/linked? I'm not a racing expert so I dunno what rear wing/rear spoiler means.
- I am for sure that the "wing" can not be linked, but spoiler has a link but is completely different. I can add a reference that has a photo. --Nascar 1996 03:06, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
"Also before the race, NASCAR made a competition caution, that was on lap 20." So was it before the race or on lap 20? I'm confused.
- Done The caution was held on lap 20, but NASCAR made the decision before the race began. -Nascar 1996 03:12, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps instead of having it end with the race results, a new Aftermath section could be added, where it can note Harvick's streak being snapped and note any major movement in points changes.
- Do you mean like how I just completed the race summary of 2010 Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400? --Nascar 1996 03:12, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  - No, I mean a separate ==Aftermath== section. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 21:04, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    - Okay, I will start working on it now. --Nascar 1996 22:47, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done --Nascar 1996 22:56, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
In general, the prose is not all that good. Namely, the race summary is pretty much just "x took the lead on lap a, y retook the lead after lap b.." etc. Did other things happen in the race? Is there a way to perhaps modify how this section is written? I know you've had other GAs in this format before, but I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I'm not sure how to explain it better than I had to push my way through reading the article since it felt repetitive with the language, even though racing is going to be difficult to write about for that very reason; it's very difficult to write about that without sounding like you're saying the same thing over and over.
- I know what you mean, and I don't know how to change it. The only way to tell viewers of the article when such and such happened would be by laps. --Nascar 1996 03:12, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the GA on hold; when things are fixed I'll look at the article again. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:01, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll sleep on the racing section and figure out a better way to write it all. Everything else is good, so once I figure it out it should make other articles easier for others to review as well. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 23:23, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. --Nascar 1996 16:43, 17 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Once you figure a way to rewrite this I would also appy it to future ones; if you do anyway. --Nascar 1996 ^(sign) 20:01, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm keeping an eye on Airplaneman's review of another one for right now; if he can come up with something then that will help big time with the rest of them, as you say. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is very complicated. I would like your overall opinion on 2010 Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400. Thanks. --Nascar 1996 ^(sign) 03:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think I figured it out. Basically I want the race section to flow better and be more captivating. Look through some of the F1 race articles (i.e. 2008 Italian Grand Prix) and see how they write them. Modify the article as such. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 18:00, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I did that on 2010 Toyota/Save Mart 350. Would you see if I did? --Nascar 1996 ^{Go Jimmie Johnson} 18:06, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yup, that article looks much better. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 18:28, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank Gosh. How long will you give me to fix this article. --Nascar 1996 ^{Go Jimmie Johnson} 19:09, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll check back at this on Friday. I'm closing the review at the end of the month one way or another. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 20:45, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll try to get this done by then, but I don't know if I will where a race is every Saturday or Sunday. I'm going to begin it today. --Nascar 1996 ^{Go Jimmie Johnson} 21:31, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Also how do you think of the first paragrapgh since I reworded it? --Nascar 1996 ^{Go Jimmie Johnson} 21:45, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Per request, I'm failing the article as a GA. It was getting there, so it's too bad. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 17:00, 27 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]