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List of George Lopez episodes

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George Lopez is an American television sitcom that ran on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC) from March 27, 2002, to May 8, 2007, broadcasting a total of 120 episodes over six seasons.

Series overview

[edit]
SeasonEpisodesOriginally airedRankViewers (in millions)
First airedLast aired
14March 27, 2002 (2002-03-27)April 17, 2002 (2002-04-17)709.0[1]
224October 2, 2002 (2002-10-02)May 14, 2003 (2003-05-14)5010.4[2]
328September 26, 2003 (2003-09-26)May 21, 2004 (2004-05-21)967.4[3]
424September 28, 2004 (2004-09-28)May 17, 2005 (2005-05-17)797.2[4]
522October 5, 2005 (2005-10-05)April 12, 2006 (2006-04-12)827.2[5]
618January 24, 2007 (2007-01-24)May 8, 2007 (2007-05-08)956.1[6]

Episodes

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Season 1 (2002)

[edit]
No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
11"Prototype"Barnet KellmanBruce Helford, George Lopez & Robert BordenMarch 27, 2002 (2002-03-27)47518110.43[7]
When well-liked George (George Lopez) becomes the first guy to be promoted from the assembly line to plant manager at a Los Angeles airplane parts factory, his life becomes a little more complicated. His best friend Ernie (Valente Rodriguez) and former compadres on the plant floor tease him about joining management. George's first test in the new position is to terminate one employee. He must choose either his acerbic line-inspector mother, Benny (Belita Moreno), or Ernie. George's hardworking and patient wife Angie (Constance Marie) copes with Benny's constant wisecracks and cares for the couple's kids, precocious 9-year-old Max (Luis Armand Garcia) and 13-year-old Carmen (Masiela Lusha), who is dealing with the traumas of being a teenager. Carmen has what George calls "jungle pits" and hairy legs.
22"Curious George"Andy CadiffDailyn RodriguezApril 3, 2002 (2002-04-03)1751018.96[8]
George worries about Carmen when she brings a boy home for the first time. He persuades Max to spy on them, but despite finding no impropriety, George threatens Duncan (Jonathon Jones), embarrassing Carmen. Later, George replies to instant messages on Carmen's computer, pretending to be her. Although this infuriates both Carmen and Angie when they find out, George goes to a party and further humiliates Carmen with his over-protectiveness. Finally, Carmen sadly ends the relationship with Duncan, not because of her father, but because Duncan tries to pressure her into having sex too soon. Carmen forgives George, who realizes that she is more responsible than he thought.
33"Happy Birthdays"Philip Charles MacKenzieLawrence BlochApril 10, 2002 (2002-04-10)1751029.33[9]
Much to George's unpleasant surprise, Angie and his family throw him a very belated surprise birthday party that he assumes is Max's upcoming birthday party while a new worker, accident-prone Amy (Sandra Bullock, one of the executive producers of the series), threatens the pride George takes in his workplace's safety record.
44"Max's Big Adventure"Lee Shallat-ChemelGeorge Lopez & Rick NyholmApril 17, 2002 (2002-04-17)1751037.36[10]
George and Benny find themselves holding open auditions for workers to replace Reggie's position in the factory's carpool after he gets arrested for fighting in a bar the night before. Meanwhile, George tries to prove to Angie that Max is not ready to walk to school on his own when Angie insists on George letting him do so.

Season 2 (2002–03)

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No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
51"Who's Your Daddy?"Lee Shallat-ChemelRachel SweetOctober 2, 2002 (2002-10-02)17540211.44[11]
Angie chastises George for telling Max fabricated stories about his deceased father, Manny (Esai Morales). Later, while shopping with Benny, George meets his aunt Cecelia (Olga Merediz) who tells him his father is in fact alive and living in northern California. When George attempts to find his father, Benny lies to him saying Manny never held him as a baby. Cecelia later visits the Lopez residence and gives George a picture of Manny holding him. Meanwhile, Angie buys a dog – which Max names Mr. Needles – off a homeless man because the dog needs veterinary help.
62"Token of Unappreciation"Lee Shallat-ChemelRick NyholmOctober 9, 2002 (2002-10-09)17540311.76[12]
The "cool" girls court Carmen, but not her best friend, Toby. Meanwhile, George is tempted to accept a job offer from another factory after he is disrespected by his bosses at Powers Aviation.
73"The Show Dyslexic"Philip Charles MacKenzieRobert BordenOctober 16, 2002 (2002-10-16)17540512.74[13]
George goes into denial when Max is thought to have dyslexia, and Angie makes things worse when she suggests that George may have it, too, since it can be genetic. Max is told to take special education classes, but George refuses because he doesn't want Max to get beaten up or teased. In the end, Max goes to the special education classes, against his wishes. Meanwhile, Ernie has a girlfriend that forces him to watch her kids while she has to do "errands."
84"Halloween Cheer"Philip Charles MacKenzieJim HopeOctober 23, 2002 (2002-10-23)17540412.24[14]
Carmen becomes depressed after her best friend Toby moves away, and George, Angie, and Benny catch her smoking a cigarette. Angie suggests Pep Squad, but when the cheerleaders bully her, she tells Angie to stay out of her life. Meanwhile, the Powers brothers want George to fire Reggie. But he has a hard time doing it.
95"The Unnatural"Joe RegalbutoFrank Pace & Mike UpchurchOctober 30, 2002 (2002-10-30)17540611.63[15]
When Max's baseball coach asks George to have Max sit out the next game because he does not think Max is good enough for the team, George tries to help Max get better at baseball, but fails to as he is no better at baseball either. Then Max accidentally lets Mr. Needles get hold of George's autographed baseball and he chews it up. George gets really mad at Max for this, but Angie tells him he is being too hard on Max. George then has a dream that his bobble heads tell him he is being too hard on Max and that Max might not like baseball. Then Max decides to quit baseball completely.
106"No Free Launch"Gerry CohenLuisa LeschinNovember 6, 2002 (2002-11-06)17540811.43[16]
At a PTA meeting, Accident Amy (Sandra Bullock) becomes secretary and is in charge of candy sales for a trip to the Space Shuttle launch, who reveals that her daughter is in Max's class. When George, Angie, and Max fail to make the quota of $480, the PTA moms demand that they write a check, but George refuses, partly because George doesn't believe they need to go to the Space Shuttle launch and partly because George has little spending money. In the end, Max doesn't go on the trip when George burns the check because the PTA called him poor. However, George and Max watch the launch at home on TV, but much to their joy the launch is canceled and they instead watch wrestling. Elsewhere, Benny seeks a makeover from Carmen because of a guy she has met, until she finds out he is married.
117"The Wedding Dance"Lee Shallat-ChemelDailyn RodriguezNovember 13, 2002 (2002-11-13)17540111.54[17]
Angie does not mind when George offers their backyard for Frank's (Mel Rodriguez) wedding reception, but his refusal to dance causes problems, especially after Angie starts drinking. George continues the search for his father, as well.
128"Love Bites"Gerry CohenJohn R. Morey & Allen J. ZipperNovember 20, 2002 (2002-11-20)17540713.45[18]
After George's warning about how boys are evil, when Carmen comes home with a hickey given to her by her boyfriend, Angie and George go after him. After accidentally meeting a single mother who believes that Max is his son, Ernie decides to use Max to meet women.
139"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Honey"Barnet KellmanJohn R. MoreyNovember 27, 2002 (2002-11-27)1754109.68[19]
After learning Benny had a one-night stand with a co-worker, Lalo (Cheech Marin), 35 years ago, George believes him to his real father. He meets the man (whose picture bears a striking resemblance to George) who turns out to be gay with his partner Charles (John Michael Higgins), and invites him over for Thanksgiving dinner. However, Benny tells George that they never had sex, and that he is not the real father. After questioning Lalo, he tells George that he only took care of Benny when she got drunk on tequila and passed out.
1410"Charity"Barnet KellmanJim Hope & Dailyn RodriguezDecember 4, 2002 (2002-12-04)17541111.33[20]
When Angie finds she has more free time around the house, she volunteers for a variety of charities. Feeling invincible, she soon finds herself joining more organizations than she can handle, and George and the family must help her to keep her from being overwhelmed. She also brings a worker named Marisol to Power Brothers, and her disrespectful, slacking attitude provides hard work for everyone. Angie's charity work proves to be too much when Max fakes vomit in school to not do his Special Ed test. Max felt that he wasn't ready because Angie couldn't help him study. In the end, Angie drops her charity work.
1511"Meet the Cuban Parents"Lee Shallat-ChemelMichele SerrosDecember 11, 2002 (2002-12-11)17541311.06[21]
When Angie's parents, Victor Palmero (Emiliano Díez) and Emilina (Sônia Braga), come to visit the family for Christmas, George thinks they still believe that he is not good enough for their daughter, so he decides to show that he can take care of his family without their help and challenges Victor to a contest to see who can have the best Christmas.
1612"This Old Casa"Lee Shallat-ChemelRick NyholmJanuary 8, 2003 (2003-01-08)17541210.96[22]
George is tired of being unappreciated by Benny, so with the urging of Angie, he decides to remodel his mother's badly deteriorated bathroom. Hoping for a simple thank you, George's plan backfires, and Benny continues to be entirely ungrateful. After a talk, George and Benny realize their significance in each other's life and in turn express their gratitude.
1713"Super Bowl"Amanda BearseGeorge Lopez & Bruce HelfordJanuary 15, 2003 (2003-01-15)17541511.11[23]
The Lopez family finds out that Benny's estranged older brother, Joe, is dying. However, Benny refuses to speak to him due to her losing a bet with him. However, George and Angie convince Benny to reconcile with Joe, and Benny agrees to, but to try and get his Super Bowl tickets. However, she changes her mind when she sees him. Meanwhile, because Benny never taught George how to cope with death when he was younger, he has difficulty attending his uncle's funeral.
1814"The Valentine's Day Massacre"John PasquinRobert BordenFebruary 5, 2003 (2003-02-05)17541610.28[24]
When George gives Angie a hat as a disappointing gift for Valentine's Day, Angie has a flashback to high school in the 1980s when George painted a great mural of her for the holiday. When Angie takes the entire family to look at the mural, only to find out it will soon be torn down, its true origin becomes known. It's revealed that the construction worker told Angie that the mural was actually painted by an artist named Chanto Perez, not George. George wrote his signature on the mural using spray paint as graffiti to make Angie believe he painted it. After finding out the truth Angie feels disappointed and starts arguing with George, which makes her think that George has been lying to her since then. The next day, Angie still feels disappointed with George. Next, Ernie arrives at the Lopez house and shows them another mural on the garage. Ernie tells Angie that George painted it and George wants Angie to forgive him; however, Marisol shows up and tells Ernie about the deal they'd made. Angie then realizes that Marisol painted the mural on the garage and not George again. This makes George lie to Angie again. While Angie is in the house, George feels terrible that he's been lying, but he is not the only one. It turns out that Angie told a lie way back before when she and a friend went out with George and Ernie as a joke, and the lie caused their marriage. In the end, all is forgiven.
1915"Girl Fight"Gerry CohenLuisa Leschin & Michele SerrosFebruary 12, 2003 (2003-02-12)17541411.22[25]
After Carmen ends her relationship with her classmate Adam, he tries to ruin her reputation at school out of spite by saying that she had sex with him, leading her to be known as the school whore. This is only made worse when Carmen's enemy (and former friend) Piper Morey (Autumn Reeser), writes "Carmen Hopez" on the back sliding door of the Lopez house. George and Angie want to repair the damage, but school counselor Tommy "Rango" Durango (Steve Schirripa), who had known George when they were kids, refuses to right the wrong (until they convince him), prompting Carmen to take action in her own defense-by fighting, but ends up getting suspended. In the end, after Carmen reveals that a boy followed into the girls' bathroom and asked if she wanted to have sex and another boy pulled up her shirt in the hallway, George and Angie agree to withdraw her from public school.
2016"George vs. George"John PasquinJim Hope & John R. MoreyFebruary 26, 2003 (2003-02-26)17541710.60[26]
George and Angie apply for a loan for Carmen's private school, they discover that they have bad credit. George believes this is a mistake, but finds out that it actually is another George Lopez (Lou Diamond Phillips) who owns a skateboard shop. When he finds him, he is shocked to find they have the same birthday, social security number, and father. He then realizes that they are half brothers. He says that he came from a poor family, has no money, and had dropped out of high school. The bank calls and says Arizona State University needs him to pay back his student loan. When he confronts the other George, he finds that his father, Manny, is actually rich and that he just needed money after exhausting his trust fund, causing an infuriated George to disown him and kick him out of his house.
2117"A Kiss is Just a Kiss"Barnet KellmanJay Kogen & Ann Serano LopezMarch 5, 2003 (2003-03-05)17541810.06[27]
As a birthday surprise for Angie, George arranges for her father Vic and sister Gloria (Jacqueline Obradors) to visit for the celebration. Upset about her upcoming divorce and jealous of her sister's marriage to a good man, Gloria makes an inappropriate advance towards George - which Max witnesses.
2218"Profiles in Courage"Andrew TsaoGeorge LopezMarch 12, 2003 (2003-03-12)17540910.73[28]
Powers Bros. Aviation is under consideration by the federal government for more business. Worried that an employee named Hosni (Jason Antoon) with a Middle Eastern ethnic background will hinder the company's chances of getting the contract, George's boss orders him to demote Hosni, which leaves George to decide whether or not to jeopardize his career by being ethical. Max "marries" a classmate, but soon divorces her after she gets mad about Max giving her gum as an Anniversary Present.
2319"Secrets and Lies"Joe RegalbutoDavid GrubstickMarch 26, 2003 (2003-03-26)1754209.41[28]
When Benny learns that George's father, who left her years ago to care for George alone, is now wealthy, she decides that she deserves to get rich herself. After she gets drunk on her lunch hour, she falls down on work premises, pretends to be hurt and plans to get a huge workman's compensation. When she finds out she will get a mere $375, she plans to sue for one million dollars.
2420"Girls Night Out"Barnet KellmanLuisa Leschin & Dailyn Rodriguez & Allen J. ZipperApril 2, 2003 (2003-04-02)1754198.64[29]

After giving a young ex-gang member, Marisol, a job at the factory and a chance for a new life, George is shocked when Angie takes further pity on Marisol and allows her to live in the Lopez home instead of with her abusive boyfriend. After impressionable Carmen becomes intrigued with Marisol's lifestyle, Angie admits that she may have made a mistake.

Meanwhile, Max joins a scouting troop, but is not learning what he should from it; instead, he instead is taught about how annoying "tree huggers" are and asks about getting a gun permit. George hosts the next scout meeting at the house, discovering that the troop leader is a right wing conservative; as the troop leader constantly goes into rants over anything remotely related to a scout activity, George calls him out on it as it's influencing the kids in the wrong way.
2521"I Only Have Eyes on You"Joe RegalbutoJim Hope & Rick NyholmApril 23, 2003 (2003-04-23)1754238.04[30]
When Max is caught peeking on Carmen's friend Olivia (Ashley Tisdale) changing from a hole between his and Carmen's room, Carmen sprays him in the eye with perfume. Instead of George punishing Max for peeking, he punishes Carmen for spraying Max's eye. Carmen decides to get revenge on Max by taking a picture of him sleeping in his underwear while hugging a stuffed pink rabbit and posting the photo around his school. Max is then beaten up and Carmen is punished again, making George realize that he is showing preference for one child over the other. George then feels bad and in the end gets Carmen a cell phone.
2622"Team Leader"Joe RegalbutoSpiro SkentzosApril 30, 2003 (2003-04-30)1754228.33[31]
George has to fill out employee evaluations, but does not know what to put for Ernie. He puts all 9's when his mom tells him it is because they are trying to figure out whom to lay off. It turns out they were making the top 4 team leaders, which includes Ernie. George wants to take the job because he knows Ernie cannot handle it, but does not know if he can do it, but Ernie tells him how much he really wants the job, ends up finishing early, to take his team out to go to the zoo. Meanwhile, Angie learns how to sell make-up products.
2723"George Has Two Mommies"Joe RegalbutoRobert Borden & Rachel SweetMay 7, 2003 (2003-05-07)1754219.24[32]
After seeing all of the bills from Allendale Prep, George and Angie believe that all of the problems will be solved by Angie's new cosmetics. But when Max's troublemaking friend Ricky (J. B. Gaynor) gives Max a bottle rocket that lands on the garage, that causes it to catch on fire. George and Angie fall into some serious burden when the LaMarie cosmetics are destroyed. Now, when George and Angie are seeking $17,000, Benny goes to Phoenix to meet Manny's new wife and George II's mother, Lydia (Cristina Saralegui), to help George.
2824"Long Time No See"John PasquinStory by : Dailyn Rodriguez
Teleplay by : Luisa Leschin & John R. Morey
May 14, 2003 (2003-05-14)1754248.47[33]
After George's estranged father give him a check for $20,000 to save the family from financial ruin, George vows to visit him in Phoenix. George's difficult personal journey becomes a family vacation when Angie, Benny and Max all decide to go. Along the way, George reminisces about his upbringing. When he meets Manny (William Marquez), George rips up the check and gives it back. When Manny makes an insulting comment about Benny, George punches him in the face (which the police arrest him for in the next episode). Back at home, Ernie is starting to get more success with meeting women. The band WAR performs the opening title.

Season 3 (2003–04)

[edit]
No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
291"Dubya, Dad and Dating" (Part 1)John PasquinRick NyholmSeptember 26, 2003 (2003-09-26)1763519.03[34]

President George W. Bush comes to speak at Powers Brothers Aviation and everything becomes a mess. Jack wants George to cut his hair but George likes his hair the way it is. Benny has started dating a 42-year-old man named Randy (Nick Offerman) without telling George. During the president's speech, Carmen comes to the factory and disrupts it and George grounds her for a month for almost costing him his job. After the speech, George steals it from his desk. This results in the Secret Service coming to George's house to ask about the President's speech, but George doesn't admit to stealing it. Then, Jack forces George to cut his hair or he will show the camera footage of George taking the speech. George returns to the factory, and the police arrest him for punching Manny.

In a special scene during the credits, George Lopez (as himself, not the character) tells the audience about a time he performed at the White House and did steal a speech from the president. When the Secret Service approached him, he says he blurted out "It's in the car!"
302"Dubya, Dad and Dating" (Part 2)John PasquinRick NyholmSeptember 26, 2003 (2003-09-26)1763529.03[34]
George is in jail for punching Manny. Manny comes to visit him and talk to him about why he left. He drops the charges and then George invites him for dinner so he can meet Angie and his grandchildren. Benny and Randy also go over to George's house that night to tell him that they are seeing each other. Benny is not happy to find out that he invited Manny to dinner because she doesn't want to see him again. George is not happy to find out that Benny and Randy are seeing each other. After Benny takes off and the kids go upstairs to give the adults space, George and Manny have a quiet dinner as Angie watches on with a smile.
313"The Cuban Missus Crisis"John PasquinJohn R. MoreyOctober 3, 2003 (2003-10-03)1763537.61[35]
Angie's social life is starting to improve and she goes out with her friend. While she is gone, George finds out that Angie's mother had an affair and that Angie's parents are getting a divorce. Angie comes home late and George goes crazy because he thought she was cheating on him. Vic then tells her about their divorce and she starts to understand why George was acting crazy.
324"Feel the Burn"John PasquinLuisa LeschinOctober 10, 2003 (2003-10-10)1763548.18[36]
Benny feels sick, so George takes her to the hospital, and they find out she has the clap; she got it from Randy, who got it from his last girlfriend. While a doctor is listing off past check ups, George finds out he has a sister that his mom gave away at birth. George then wants to meet the sister but Benny doesn't want him to. George learns his sister is Linda Lorenzo, who was adopted by an Italian family who lived in his old neighborhood; she also works for Max's school. George visits her, pretending to be from a group for Hispanic dyslexics; George learns Linda is also dyslexic and was able to make the most of her life due to the Lorenzos' love and support. Not wanting to ruin her life (mostly because it would involve Benny), George keeps their familial ties a secret; he snaps a surprise picture to show Angie.
335"Carmen's Dating"John PasquinRachel SweetOctober 17, 2003 (2003-10-17)1763558.61[37]
Carmen brings home a boy named Jason (Bryan Fisher) for the first time and George and Angie don't want her to date. They then give Jason an interview and decide to let Carmen and Jason date; however, they only spend time together at the Lopez home, which makes Angie suspicious and George happy. Carmen and Jason go to homecoming and George finds out that Jason will not be seen in public with her; they had already agreed to this to maintain Jason's image. George will not let Jason see Carmen anymore. After a week, Jason decides that public image doesn't matter to him as much as Carmen does and they reconcile.
346"Split Decision"John PasquinPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveOctober 24, 2003 (2003-10-24)1763568.33[38]
Everyone at Powers Brothers aviation goes to Thirsties to celebrate a new contract. George lets it slip that Mel went to Vegas with Jack's ex-wife when they were together. Jack and Mel get into a fight that results in them splitting up the company. Each of them want George to be a part of their company, and George has a hard time choosing between them. In the end, they make up and stay together. They then find out about a plane crash, which resulted in two deaths, and that the factory's landing gear might be responsible. Meanwhile, Carmen gets invited to go on a ski trip and George and Angie won't let her go, but they change their minds and she ends up going.
357"No One Gets Out Alive"John PasquinRichard GoodmanOctober 31, 2003 (2003-10-31)1763587.34[39]
It is Halloween, and all of the workers are worried about the plane crash. An inspector from the NTSB comes to the factory, interviews George and Benny, and then shuts down the factory while they inspect the landing gear. All of the workers are worried about losing their jobs, so George turns his house into a haunted tomb of terror to help raise money for the inspection, while Benny feels responsible for the plane crash.
368"Bringing Home The Bacon"John PasquinDailyn RodriguezNovember 7, 2003 (2003-11-07)1763598.51[40]
Carmen is turning 15 and she wants to have a quinceañera. George wants to cancel the quinceañera because money is tight since he is not working, but Angie says it's her money and starts to make money decisions without George's consent. Meanwhile, Carmen is debating about what to say to Jason in her speech. Carmen ends up having her quinceañera, but Jason breaks up with her for saying how much he means to her. In the end, they find out that the factory's landing gear is not responsible for the crash, and the factory is re-opened.
379"Fishing Cubans"John PasquinJohn R. MoreyNovember 14, 2003 (2003-11-14)1763577.86[41]

Vic's brother Octavio is supposed to leave Cuba, but Castro decides not to let him go. George, Ernie and, Vic go to pull him from the ocean as a surprise present for Angie's anniversary. George doesn't want to do it at first, but Vic talks him into it. They need to outrun the Coast Guard after finding Octavio, but they make it. George dresses up as Castro to surprise the brothers as they play cards that evening, scaring/angering them.

Meanwhile, Max wants a new video game, but George doesn't have enough money to get it for him. Benny talks Max into tricking the kids in his special ed class into attending a fake birthday party while Angie works the night shift, so he can get presents. Benny manages to sneak the kids out before Angie returns home; Angie gives Max a polar bear puzzle to make up for not getting him the game. Unfortunately, one of the kids arrives late, and exposes the scam. Angie grounds Max & tells him to give back the gifts along with one of his toys; Max immediately gives him the puzzle.
3810"Would You Like a Drumstick or a Kidney?"John PasquinLuisa LeschinNovember 21, 2003 (2003-11-21)1763607.49[42]
George II tells George that Manny is in need of a kidney. George then invites Manny, Lydia, and George II for Thanksgiving. George II was going to donate a kidney, but they found out that his kidney doesn't match so now it is up to George to donate the kidney. Manny and Lydia both want him to donate the kidney, but Angie, Benny, and Max don't, and George doesn't know what to do. In the end, George decides to go through with helping his father.
3911"Mementos"John PasquinDailyn RodriguezNovember 28, 2003 (2003-11-28)1763618.58[43]
George throws out a box of Angie's grandmother's mementos because he thought it was just a box of trash. Angie gets mad at him because it was all she had left to remember her grandmother by. George is about to donate a kidney to Manny, but then Manny dies before he can. Manny sends George a letter telling him not to go to the funeral, as it would destroy his reputation if it were discovered he abandoned George and Benny. But with the letter, he sends George a gold watch that was handed down from Manny's father. George then smashes the watch with a meat mallet, and then Benny tells him it was worth a lot; as the watch itself is not usable anymore, they can still sell it for its worth in gold. Meanwhile, Carmen gets a job working at the restaurant that George worked at as a teenager.
4012"Christmas Punch"John PasquinJim HopeDecember 12, 2003 (2003-12-12)1763627.04[44]
Max is eaves dropping on a phone call where George and Angie were discussing what to get Max for Christmas. At this point he starts to doubt Santa's existence, but George tries to get him to continue believing in Santa because Benny ruined Santa for George. Then one kid starts beating up Max for believing in Santa. At this point, Angie wants to tell Max the truth about Santa so he won't get beaten up, but George still wants Max to believe in Santa. In the end, Max still believes in Santa. Meanwhile, Carmen and Jason get back together and they start kissing but George doesn't approve.
4113"Why You Crying?"John PasquinJim HopeJanuary 9, 2004 (2004-01-09)1763638.36[45]
George and Angie get an email from Max's teacher saying she wants to come to the house. Meanwhile, Max mouths off to Benny (saying something George would normally say to her) and she hits him for it. George and Angie get really mad at Benny for it and Angie tries to get Benny to apologize to Max, but she ends up paying him instead, which he finds to be much better than an apology. Max's teacher comes to the house to tell George and Angie that Max is about to fail the 5th grade, and they find out that Max forged Angie's signature to cover up his failing and get mad at him for it. George tries to get Max interested in school, but Max doesn't care, and insults George by saying, "I can get some loser job in a factory like you?" George gives up on Max, but later takes it back. Max is tempted to try harder in school.
4214"The Trouble with Ricky"Joe RegalbutoAllen J. ZipperJanuary 23, 2004 (2004-01-23)1763658.35[46]
Max tries to sneak Ricky into the house, but George and Angie find out. Angie calls his mother to tell her to pick him up, but she finds out Ricky's mother is going through a tough time (plus a lot of booze); she agrees to let Ricky stay a few days without George's consent Ricky and Max skip school, and drive the car through the fence; this scares Angie as "he's getting closer to where we sleep" with each new bit of destruction Ricky causes. Angie changes her mind about letting him stay, and George takes Ricky back to his apartment, but he finds out about Ricky's crappy childhood and he decides to let him stay. Angie talks him out of it and Ricky ends up staying with Ernie and his parents.
4315"God Needles George"John PasquinPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveFebruary 6, 2004 (2004-02-06)1763647.95[47]
The family dog Mr. Needles is sick, so the family takes him to the vet, and they find out he has a tumor. The family plans to put him to sleep, but George promises God he would crawl on his knees up the cobblestone path to the Church of the Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexico (after Ernie tells him about a guy who did that and had his pray answered), if Mr. Needles gets better. Surprisingly, Mr. Needles' tumor disappears, much to George's dismay as it means he has to keep his promise; he attempts to get out of it by donating a small amount of money to the church. However, the pastor tells him it's not enough. With no options left, George goes to Mexico, where NUMEROUS other people are doing the same thing; possibly the church grants the prayers of those who promise to do this, but for George, it's more like a curse as he only promised to do so to make Max feel better.
4416"Benny and Randy"Joe RegalbutoRobert BordenFebruary 13, 2004 (2004-02-13)1763677.27[48]
Benny and Randy have been together for six months and Angie is planning a big night for them. Randy comes and tells Benny that they should take it to the next level (by moving in together), but Benny is not ready so she leaves. Then George tells Randy to accept Benny the way she is and he dumps her. Benny gets very mad at George; surprising, Angie backs Benny up. George tells Benny that Randy is going out with another woman. Benny gets even madder and starts to beat up Randy's truck. They end up getting back together.
4517"Weekend at Benny's"Joe RegalbutoDavid GrubstickFebruary 20, 2004 (2004-02-20)1763667.70[49]

Angie has to fill in for the La Marie sales manager in a conference in Vegas so George has to watch Carmen & Max. George decides to send them to stay with Benny for the weekend so they can endure his childhood as a way of dealing with some minor misbehavior from them. He takes Carmen's cell phone and Max's Game Boy away to ensure they have no way to escape Benny's attitude. They do okay at Benny's, but the slightest bit of criticism receives backlash. Angie ends up returning home earlier than George expected, and he attempts to keep his plan s secret. He soon admits his mistake, however, after she tells him that leaving the kids with Benny would be the worst idea he's had. He also finds a poster in Max's room listing 3 thing Max plans to blackmail Carmen for doing, one of them being wearing a thong to school. Angie admits she gave Carmen permission to do it, whereas George is against it in the first place.

When the kids return from Benny's, they serve George and Angie dinner and Angie admits that sending the kids to Benny's was a good idea. However, when George comments his food has too much garlic in it, Carmen and Max take the dinner away from them, telling them they can go hungry, as a display of Benny's earlier behavior.
4618"Jason Tutors Max"Victor GonzalezStacey PulwerFebruary 27, 2004 (2004-02-27)1763697.56[50]
Max has a state test in three weeks and he is struggling with algebra. George and Angie couldn't help him, so they decided to get him a tutor. They try a few tutors including a very hot one named Ashley (Paris Hilton) and none of them work out. Then Jason decides to tutor him and Max starts to understand algebra, but Carmen doesn't like this because he already has too many extracurricular activities. Jason and Carmen then break up because of that. George and Angie want Jason to continue tutoring Max but Carmen doesn't want him around. In the end, Carmen and Jason get back together, and Max barely passes the state test.
4719"Angie Gets Tanked"Joe RegalbutoRichard GoodmanMarch 19, 2004 (2004-03-19)1763687.10[51]
There is a fair at Carmen's school to raise money for disabled people, such as Jason's little brother. George and Angie go to this fair and they volunteer to work at the dunk tank. George is the one everyone is trying to dunk, but Angie fills in for George when he goes to the bathroom. A little girl doesn't listen and wait for George to take Angie's place dunking her. However, soon a picture of Angie (who unfortunately was wearing a white shirt when she got dunked) circulate around the school; worse, someone posts it on the internet. Then, everyone starts to make fun of Carmen. It turns out to be Jason's wheelchair-using brother, who didn't intend for his prank to get so out of control. Angie tries to call him out, but can't bring herself to yell at a disabled child, and decides to just let it go. Meanwhile, George teases a kid named Lawrence about his weight and the Principal asks George to leave and write an apology letter to Lawrence.
4820"The Art of Boxing"Joe RegalbutoJim HopeMarch 26, 2004 (2004-03-26)1763728.16[52]
Max is having trouble sleeping because he is worried about failing the 5th grade. Vic suggests that Max takes boxing lessons to take his mind off school (supporting the suggestion by stating Max is a natural born fighter by being half Mexican and half Cuban), but George knows that Angie won't like the idea so they decide not to tell her until they are sure Max decides he likes it. It goes well and Max starts sleeping well. However, Max clumsily pulls his glove off too hard, resulting in his own black eye. They attempt to hide this when they get home, so enough time can pass for them to create an excuse. However, Angie wants to speak to Max; Vic tries to pass off the black eye as something he did when Max angered him, but Angie doesn't buy it. George reveals Max has been boxing, and Max goes to a tournament. However, Max turns away during a match and gets a good whack to the head that gives him a concussion. To Max's annoyance, his family keeps him awake and answering questions (despite the grade of concussion he has not being dangerous) all night.
4921"George's House of Cards"Joe RegalbutoPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveApril 2, 2004 (2004-04-02)1763736.75[53]
Angie convinces George to let Vic in on his poker game. Vic loses poker and owes George 50 dollars, but Vic decides to take it off George's debt for the garage instead of paying it. George and Vic get into a fight over the 50 dollars which results in Vic putting a lock on the garage and not telling George the combination, however, he does tell Max who doesn't remember it because he is dyslexic. In the end, he takes the lock off the garage, and pays George his 50 dollars.
5022"Dance Fever"Joe RegalbutoJohn R. MoreyApril 9, 2004 (2004-04-09)1763706.39[54]
George wins an award at work for being the rising star in town among all the minorities. All of his co-workers are proud of him except for Benny. He then goes to Thirstie's with everyone to celebrate his award. He plays a new video game there called Pump It Up (similar to Dance Dance Revolution) against Randy and gets mad at Benny for not appreciating his award. She then reveals her belief in "The Evil Eye", which is supposed to take away anything she loves; it's the reason she never was nice to George, because she caress about him. George decides to call the Evil Eye to get Benny as a way of taunting his mother's superstitions.
5123"She Drives Me Crazy"Mark CendrowskiValentina Garza & Rachel SweetApril 16, 2004 (2004-04-16)1763756.89[55]
Carmen gets her learner's permit and she wants to learn how to drive. She drives with Benny, and Benny gets caught drinking with Carmen driving, and Benny has to go to court. Benny then has to wear an embarrassing sign. Then George drives with Carmen and he yells at her making her nervous and she goes up a curb. Angie tells George he needs to be more patient and not yell. George tries driving with Carmen again, this time with more patience, but Carmen drives recklessly because Jason left her for another girl. (All in all, Carmen is not getting her licence any time soon)
5224"George Goes to Disneyland"Joe RegalbutoGeorge LopezApril 30, 2004 (2004-04-30)1763747.00[56]

Max wins an award at school for being the most improved special ed kid. Angie rewards him by taking him to Disneyland. George doesn't want to go because he doesn't want to see what he missed as a child. Then he changes his mind and he goes with Benny and looks for the rest of the group. They meet at the tea cup ride. Meanwhile, Mel's son Zack (Trevor Wright) falls for Carmen and follows her to Disneyland. George doesn't want the two to see each other. At first, Carmen doesn't like Zack because of what George said about him, but he buys her jewelry and she falls for him. At the end of the episode George goes to Disneyland again by himself.

Note: This episode semi-breaks the fourth wall by addressing the viewers about spotting Disney Mickey Mouse logos, apparently promising a trip to Disneyland (now outdated). The logos can be spotted, with one such during the intro. This actually was a "watch-and-win" contest in real life made by George Lopez when the episode aired on April 30, 2004, in which viewers had a chance to win $10,000, a family trip to Disneyland, and other cool things by spotting all the Mickey Mouses, which were hidden throughout the episode. At the conclusion of the episode, viewers were asked to submit their results either to abc.com or mail them in for a chance to win. Due to the contest being over, this episode rarely is shown on reruns.
5325"Bachelor Party"Joe RegalbutoRick NyholmMay 7, 2004 (2004-05-07)1763716.50[57]

Benny and Randy are about to get married, they are planning their wedding and bachelor party. Accident Amy returns from the hospital (now blind and more oblivious to whats around her) and tries to win back Randy. George then catches them kissing and gets angry at Randy, but he refuses to tell Benny. Benny finds out from Angie about the kiss. Randy then has to choose between Benny and Amy and Benny and Randy break up.

Note: Amy doesn't pursue Randy after this, suggesting she only was after him due to some kind of head trauma (as she is accident prone).
5426"Wrecking Ball"Don ScardinoRichard Goodman & Spiro SkentzosMay 14, 2004 (2004-05-14)1763766.58[58]
Benny is still furious about her breakup with Randy, so she and Gina goes to Thirstie's and talk about how they both think that all men are bad. The next day, the factory was trashed, and everyone blames it on Benny because she was so mad about what Randy did. In the end, they find out that Benny is innocent and Zack did it as revenge to Mel. Meanwhile, Carmen is dating Zack behind George and Angie's back.
5527"What George Doesn't Noah..."Joe RegalbutoRobert BordenMay 21, 2004 (2004-05-21)1763777.16[59]
Carmen pretends to break up with Zack and start dating a new boy named Noah, to cover up her relationship with Zack. George and Benny think Noah is cheating on Carmen, so they follow him to the movies and they find out he is gay. Noah comes over to their house and he accidentally lets it slip that Carmen is actually dating Zack.
5628"Now George Noah Ex-Zack-Ly What Happened"Joe RegalbutoLuisa Leschin & Dailyn RodriguezMay 21, 2004 (2004-05-21)1763787.16[59]
George and Angie find Carmen's diary and read that she's been dating Zack for quite a while; they also find out Carmen makes fun of George for his jerseys and Angie for trying to act younger than she is. When Carmen arrives home from school she tells them she is maturing and she can do whatever she wants. George snaps and tells her that if she can't live by their rules, she should just leave. The next morning Carmen tells George that she's sorry and that she'll stop seeing Zack. At Max's 5th grade graduation, Angie gets a call from Carmen, who says she's leaving for good with Zack and apologizes for not being the daughter they wanted. Meanwhile, Randy tries reuniting with Benny, and succeeds.

Season 4 (2004–05)

[edit]
No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
571"George Searches for a Needle in a Haight-Stack"Joe RegalbutoJohn R. MoreySeptember 28, 2004 (2004-09-28)1778018.39[60]
Carmen is calling George and Angie on their home phone, but hangs up upon reaching a verbal argument with her father. Cutting to Carmen, Zack emerges from a nearby liquor store, with a vodka bottle in his hand. He wants to have sex with Carmen drunk. With Carmen still gone, George and Vic look for her and eventually find her in San Francisco with rapper Chingy. She finally returns home, but the problems aren't over yet. Carmen declares that she is a woman due to her recent experiences and she can do whatever she wants; though on the bright side for the parents, she has not lost her virginity.
582"Landlord Almighty"Joe RegalbutoJohn R. MoreyOctober 5, 2004 (2004-10-05)1778029.08[61]
When Carmen crazily redecorates her room, George and Angie intervene and order her to stop doing so. Carmen then argues that she should be able to do to whatever she wants to her room since she is close to becoming an adult or she will run away again. Upon hearing this, George decides to treat her as a tenant of the family and orders her to pay rent for her room, pay bills and pay for her own food in an effort to discourage her from wanting to be treated like an adult. However, this plan soon backfires when Carmen doesn't relent and gets a roommate with a job, but he is determined the plan will work when Carmen's friend acts like her and takes her food, clothes, and money without asking, Carmen realizes this agrees to kick her out, and decides to runaway, now sick of her behavior Angie tells Carmen she can leave if she wants, Carmen decides to stay and follow the rules.
593"George of the Rings"Joe RegalbutoPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveOctober 12, 2004 (2004-10-12)1778038.54[62]
After George forgets his and Angie's wedding anniversary, he goes to drastic measures to make it up to her when she gets revenge on him with a dirt cake. He takes her to a jewelry store to buy a proper wedding ring but the ring she picks is far out of George's price range. In order to get enough money to pay for it, he strikes up a deal with Vic to trade Emilina's engagement ring to George, in exchange for him giving Vic many of his possessions. When he shows the ring to Angie, she is exuberant, but Vic returns demanding Emilina's ring back. George is forced to tell Angie of his deal with Vic, which angers Angie. In another effort to make it up to her, George convinces her into having their wedding vows renewed.
604"Home Sweet Homeschool"Joe RegalbutoLuisa LeschinOctober 19, 2004 (2004-10-19)1778048.59[63]
When Carmen is expelled from her private school, recently laid-off Angie agrees to home school her; however, Angie is too zealous about the opportunity, annoying Carmen (who thought home schooling would be less like regular school and more relaxed.) After awhile, Angie soon realizes she's way over her head and decides they should send Carmen to an all-girl school (against her wishes). Also, the money cut also forces a postponement of George and Angie's wedding vow renewal.
615"Leave It to Lopez"Gerry CohenPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveOctober 26, 2004 (2004-10-26)1778078.70[64]

When a janitor with no life insurance dies at work, Angie finds out that George has been lying and does not have life insurance either. As Angie hounds him and forbids him to have ice cream, he dozes off to classic TV which leads to a spoof of such classics as Leave It to Beaver, The Munsters and The Jetsons.

Note: This episode was dedicated to the memory of Rodney Dangerfield.
626"Sk8r Boyz"Joe RegalbutoJim HopeNovember 9, 2004 (2004-11-09)1778068.50[65]
When Max starts middle school, he gets picked on by bullies. Angie buys him dorky clothes which she thinks are "cute". Max gets new clothes, but it doesn't help. Carmen decides to help Max, but it doesn't work either. He then starts hanging out with a group of skateboarders, which becomes a problem. George finds out Max has been arrested for beating up a boy and is banned from the mall.
637"The Simple Life"Gerry CohenRick NyholmNovember 16, 2004 (2004-11-16)1778088.73[66]
When George decides a new job opportunity may be for him, he takes the family to a little town in Colorado on "vacation", when he & Angie are really looking for a much safer environment for Max & Carmen than Los Angeles. But when he gets the job, resistance from Angie as well as springing the news on the kids makes George reconsider his idea. But, also Angie believes it may be a better place for the kids. And in a moment of romance, Benny and Vic kiss, much to the horror of Ernie; also Max meets a girl that talks him into smoking, stealing, and making out and Carmen meets a boy who tells her to drink with him.
648"Trouble in Paradise"Gerry CohenDave CaplanNovember 23, 2004 (2004-11-23)1778098.38[67]
A horrible dinner that features a drunk Carmen, Max with a hickey on his neck, and other dirty secrets about the town, convinces the Lopez that California is still the place for them.
659"E. I., E. I.? Oh"Joe RegalbutoDanielle Sanchez-WitzelNovember 30, 2004 (2004-11-30)1778058.85[68]
When George mistakenly thinks he is going to be named VP of Powers Brothers, he whips out his "VP Dance", only to find the company has merged with another corporation and jobs such as Benny's and Ernie's need to be cut. Plus, George is appointed a new co-manager, Vanessa Brooks (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) a beautiful and cunning woman from a more white-collar background who George fears will take his job. His fears are confirmed when she tricks George into believing she'll help and presenting George to be a sentimental fool not worthy of the job of manager. But George is able to show the Powers Brothers the power of family as a way of saving his job yet also forced to take a pay cut and promote his co-manager to VP.
6610"A Clear and Presentless Danger"Victor GonzalezDave CaplanDecember 14, 2004 (2004-12-14)17781111.19[69]
George thinks back to the lousy Christmas presents from his mother. So he attempts to rig "Secret Santa" Day so she gets Angie instead of him. However, Benny trades with Vic and winds up getting Max's name instead. So as a backup, George buys Max a paintball gun as a great present, after he gives it to him the paint ball gun goes off due to George not having safety on, after paint splatters on Benny's gift to Max they find out that Benny has finally come through with a great present: an autographed picture of Dave Mirra.
6711"Prescription for Trouble"Gerry CohenJim HopeJanuary 11, 2005 (2005-01-11)1778129.14[70]
When Carmen asks for birth control pills, George immediately assumes that her boyfriend Jason is pressuring her to have sex, but he denies it. George then realizes that it is Carmen who wants to have sex with Jason; he concludes its behavior inherited from Angie, when she wants to "celebrate" another success from work. When Max complains of a stomachache, he says he ate some stale mints in Carmen's room; George and Angie find out she bought birth control pills, with Benny and Vic's help. Max ends up being fine after some rest. In an effort to stop her, George and Angie bribe her with a car to postpone having sex until she is 18 (Although George jokes she needs to be 40).
6812"Friends Don't Let Friends Marry Drunks"Gerry CohenAllen J. ZipperJanuary 18, 2005 (2005-01-18)1778136.02[71]
While taking Max and his friend Ricky out, George and Angie discover Ernie's new girlfriend is Tammy, Ricky's birth mother. After finding out she has a positive pregnancy test, George has problems convincing Ernie not to marry her. Ernie does not believe George, and Tammy is furious at Ernie for doubting her faithfulness. When Tammy reveals the truth to Ernie, that the baby is not his, Ernie still wants to marry her.
6913"George to the 3rd Power"Andy CadiffGeorge LopezJanuary 25, 2005 (2005-01-25)1778166.92[72]
George becomes frustrated with Max' dentist (Michael Clarke Duncan) when he accuses Max of being a wimp for getting his braces loosened. George then lobbies to have the company's dental plan changed, by sneaking behind Jack and Mel's backs to meet their estranged third brother, Lou, who is also co-owner. Due to disagreements with Mel and Jack, Lou is now spending his days drinking (after his marriage fell apart). Eventually, it turns out Max only wanted to get his braces so loosened they would be taken off, all because of a girl he likes, so George has Jack and Mel pretend to fire him to teach Max a lesson.
7014"George Gets Assisterance"Andy CadiffDanielle Sanchez-WitzelFebruary 1, 2005 (2005-02-01)1778156.66[73]
After finding out a budget cut cancels special ed, George and Angie attend a PTA meeting run by George's sister, Linda, the superintendent (Eva LaRue). After some complaints of George, Linda finds out she is actually Mexican and adopted. She meets with Benny, impressing her birth mother with her life. George points out that it's because Linda was "raised by people", while Benny calls him the "ugly sister" Linda decides to help Max by altering his retake test to make him fail, thus ensuring he stays in special ed.
7115"Sabes Quake"Bob KoherrMichael LoftusFebruary 8, 2005 (2005-02-08)1778106.05[74]
When a 6.2 earthquake hits the Northridge area, George has the memory of the time he first experienced an earthquake as a child; at the time he thought his mother had brought home another "special uncle." Carmen is also traumatized, as the quake knocked a tree into her window. Both George and Carmen spend the next few days living in the yard (as the aftermath of the quake has left schools and businesses closed). After talking to Benny about his fears, George realizes that he needs to confront his fears, and so does Carmen. Managing to get back inside, George asks for some tequila to steady his nerves, while Carmen goes back to her room to face her fears.
7216"George Takes A Stroll Down Memory Pain"Joe RegalbutoDavid GrubstickFebruary 15, 2005 (2005-02-15)1778146.34[75]
When Benny demands money for a box of George's old childhood things, he discovers that his little league coach left him $10,000 in his will. However, because it was in Benny's name, she had found it before George and spent half of it on a new car and a trip to Vegas. When George confronts her for the remaining $5,000, Benny reveals that she gave it to Angie to start their lives; she had previously told George that the money came from selling a song from his band days to another country. A flashback reveals a heavily pregnant Angie agreed to take the money from Benny so she and George could live on their own. Benny upped her negativity to force George to be a man and defend Angie, and declare they would leave.
7317"George Buys a Vow"Bob KoherrRobert BordenFebruary 22, 2005 (2005-02-22)1778188.47[76]
George uses a fake wedding for his boss as a cover to renew his vows with Angie, but with Angie planning the fake wedding, she begins to ask too many details. Jack buys a woman named "Dell" (Jennifer Hasty) as a fake wife so on the day of the real wedding, George can tell the truth.
7418"George Watcha's Out for Jason"Victor GonzalezPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveMarch 1, 2005 (2005-03-01)1778197.66[77]
When Angie and George discover Carmen has been going to Jason's house unsupervised for the past month, they worry Carmen has broken her promise not to have sex before turning 18. They arrive just as Carmen is taking off Jason's sweater to do his laundry, easily mistaking the action for intimacy. Jason reveals that his parents are out of the country; they didn't abandon him, but left him behind so he could finish baseball season. Carmen later sneaks out to a party at Jason's, but kids from another school arrive with drugs and the police are called. The culprits refused to admit the drugs belonged to them, getting everyone arrested. George scolds Carmen, but not before he mistakenly assumes she's high. The police have to send Jason out of town, thus ruining his possible chance at a pro baseball career. Much to George's chagrin, he allows Jason to stay with the family - as long as he and Carmen can keep their hands off each other.
7519"George's Grand Slam"Victor GonzalezValentina GarzaMarch 8, 2005 (2005-03-08)1778207.52[78]
With Carmen and Jason grounded for throwing a party at Jason's and getting arrested (the latter of which wasn't their fault), neither is able to do much. But George does allow for some bending when it comes to Jason's baseball career which upsets Carmen and her feminist poet friend (Hilary Duff) who accuses George of being a sexist. When Carmen questions George about going to college, George makes a big mistake in telling Carmen she has no potential. In the end, George goes to the poetry slam, and Carmen's poem about him being a dreamkiller embarrasses him.
7620"George Needs Anchor Management"Joe RegalbutoRick NyholmMarch 29, 2005 (2005-03-29)1778176.51[79]
When an old friend of Angie's moves back to town to become a news anchor, George becomes jealous with her giddy excitement over him. But George comes to find out that Angie has not told him the whole story about this former boyfriend. Angie reveals her old flame broke up with her, making George think Angie dropped a level to ensure she didn't get dumped again. It later turns out Vic bribed him to break up with Angie, as he wanted her to know looks didn't mean anything; when she married George "evidently the lesson sunk in." George jokes he would take a bribe to divorce Angie.
7721"George's Relatively Bad Idea"Joe RegalbutoStacey PulwerApril 12, 2005 (2005-04-12)1778225.59[80]
George gets caught up in some bad family ties when he lets Vic give him money (to pay off the garage) in exchange for letting Vic date George's sister Linda. But after seeing Vic and Linda kiss, George is upset and has everyone over for dinner. He explains the family will play a game called "Oh No! You Didn't?!". We see Vic dyed his hair and moustache black so he could look young for Linda (Eva LaRue). Benny says that the "Black Cat" (Vic's hair) is going after the "Black Mouse" (Vic's moustache). George calls Vic "Super Mario" and explains that Vic kissed Benny (Ernie had ratted Benny out, enraging her). Ernie then tells everyone Vic gave George $2,000 to date Linda. Linda wonders why George pimped her out. George says, "It was to forgive a debt and, you know, some mad money." Benny claimed Vic was using Linda to win Benny over (which was VERY wrong). They start playing "Oh No! You Didn't?!" and Benny says, "It's obvious how we divide up now." They play with George and Angie on a team against Benny, Linda, Ernie and Vic.
7822"George's Extreme Makeover: Holmes Edition"Victor GonzalezSpiro SkentzosMay 3, 2005 (2005-05-03)1778215.65[81]
When Angie finds that issues with the family is interfering with her wedding planning business, George decides to renovate the garage into an office for Angie with the help of some old friends (Ricardo Antonio Chavira and Danny Trejo). However, they renovate the garage in a rather cheap manner and without getting permits; despite that, the layout is still very nice. When the renovations are complete, Angie hires a building inspector (Jim Belushi) to inspect the place, but he condemns it after finding it was renovated cheaply.
7923"George Stare-oids Down Jason"Joe RegalbutoMichael LoftusMay 10, 2005 (2005-05-10)1778235.47[82]
One morning, George discovers Carmen and Jason sleeping together (though they only fell asleep together on Carmen's bed listening to music, not sex) George and Angie decide to kick Jason out. Jason's father (Stacy Keach) arrives for a dinner and George decide to slam him with the bill and then give him the bad news. While riding out the check he offers the two $10,000 to keep Jason until he goes to college. George decides to vote against the money and kick Jason out but, Jason and Carmen get into a heated argument and Jason goes ballistic and storms out of the house. While searching through Jason's bag he discovers that Jason is taking steroids. When Jason's father comes back to George's house George also discovers that Jason's own dad forced him onto steroids. Jason returns and George tells him if he tells his father that he won't take steroids, he can stay with them.
8024"George Negoti-ate It"Joe RegalbutoLuisa LeschinMay 17, 2005 (2005-05-17)1778246.57[83]
George steps in to be Jason's sports agent when NFL Quarterbacks Donovan McNabb and Daunte Culpepper (guest starring as themselves) pay a visit to the Lopez household to draft Jason, but when George accepts illegal football gifts from a college recruiting Jason, George is forced to seek out a baseball deal. Meanwhile, Carmen and Los Lobos guitarist Cesar Rosas stir things up at George's family birthday bash when she claims to be pregnant.

Season 5 (2005–06)

[edit]
No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
811"George Gets a Pain in the Ash"Joe RegalbutoDave CaplanOctober 5, 2005 (2005-10-05)2T7401RX9.13[84]

Carmen reveals she's not pregnant, only saying that to scare her parents into letting her marry Jason. Jason arrives late, giving George a new golf club as a gift; however, upon realizing Carmen blabbed, he quickly runs away. Jason flees after Carmen suggest actually having a baby, but she later finds out that her parents would give their blessing on marriage once she turned 18; however, when Carmen calls Jason to clear up the confusion, she doesn't mention this fact and only that they would marry in June. Though Jason has clearly broken up with her, Carmen is in denial, believing he will come back.

Benny's house burns down, due to her tossing a cigarette into a garbage next to her drapes; this also burns up the money she had stuffed in her mattress. George and Angie take her into their home, much to George's chagrin.
822"You Dropped a Mom on Me"Joe RegalbutoDave CaplanOctober 5, 2005 (2005-10-05)2T7402RX9.13[84]
George gets Benny an advance on her paychecks to look for apartments, but Benny foolishly gambles the money away and moves into her car, which one of her cigarettes burns down as well. Ernie even tries to raise money at work, but all he gets are comments from Benny's neighbors wishing her the worst. Carmen is still in denial and is still determined to marry her boyfriend even though he is gone. Because of Benny's bad luck at gambling, George eventually lets her live in his house.
833"George's Dog Days of Bummer"Joe RegalbutoPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveOctober 12, 2005 (2005-10-12)2T74038.75[85]
Benny seems depressed that her belongings had burned down, so George wants to help her, but when a rowdy biker (guest star Duane "Dog" Chapman) refuses to give up the stray dog (St. Cloud) George's mom has grown to love, George takes to impersonating Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Antonio later shows up to tell George to stop impersonating him or the city won't pick up his trash. George then asks for a national holiday in his honor and a statue but Villaraigosa tells him his goal is to make schools better and neighborhoods safe for everyone in Los Angeles.
844"George Drives the Batmobile"Bob KoherrAllen J. ZipperOctober 19, 2005 (2005-10-19)2T74057.94[86]
After refusing Benny's pleas for a new car, and when Benny bribes Carmen to bring her to a bar, George and Angie are forced to drive Benny around. Angie quits after being invited to a make-out between Benny and her guest. George then brings her & ten friends to Circus Burger, & they scream all over the place whenever George asks them to be quiet. He soon stops at a red light next to a young man who wants to race him and soon has a problem with the law.
855"Trick or Treat Me Right"Bob KoherrJim HopeOctober 26, 2005 (2005-10-26)2T74068.50[87]
George and Angie's practical jokes are funnier and scarier than ever as Halloween approaches, but as Benny's abusive comments and behavior grow worse, George finds it impossible to laugh things off and threatens to make some big changes. George finally steps up to his mother and tells her that he is tired of her comments.
866"George Takes a Sentimental Ernie"Victor GonzalezRick NyholmNovember 2, 2005 (2005-11-02)2T74077.34[88]
George still refuses to return home until his mother leaves, but when he realizes how difficult it is to live with Ernie and his parents, he convinces Ernie to get his own place.
877"George Finds Therapy Benny-ficial"Victor GonzalezJohn R. MoreyNovember 9, 2005 (2005-11-09)2T74087.92[89]
When a shooting occurs at Max's school, George takes him to see a counselor (guest star Richard Lewis) to deal with his stress; in truth, Max is not affected, as he plays a game parody of Grand Theft Auto that involves guns that desensitized him. In truth, Max is only affected by George being gone all the time. George realizes that he must settle things with Benny. George ends up spending seven hours at the counselor's office telling him about his abuse as a kid. At the end, George got back at Angie (for taking Benny's side during the fight) by telling the counselor to convince Angie that she has "Know-it-all syndrome", and he agrees due to being annoyed by her constant jabbering.
888"George Tries to Write a Wrong"Bob KoherrMichael LoftusNovember 16, 2005 (2005-11-16)2T74048.13[90]
George uncovers some secrets that were better left unrevealed when he sneaks a peek at a ten-year-old unopened letter from Angie, where he finds out Vic made an account for her if she dumped George. George gets angry at Angie for leaving him when he said Benny was going to move in, and for not closing the account, so she tries to seduce him, but she finds out he changed his letter, so he tries to seduce her. It later turns out that Vic spent the money he had ready for Angie on a failed attempt to bring Cuban cuisine to America; George pokes fun at the idea per usual.
899"George Discovers Benny's Sili-Con Job"George LopezLuisa LeschinNovember 30, 2005 (2005-11-30)2T74097.93[91]
George only gives Benny a twenty dollar party for work. So Benny gets back at him by giving George's present to Angie for her birthday. George then gets back at her by making fun of Benny's age including a humiliating (funny) display with fake breasts in front of everyone at work. So Benny decides to get breast implants to make herself look younger, much to George's dismay. However it turns out Benny just put rubber items from the surgeon into her bra and has bought her own apartment, leaving George with a bad Botox operation.
9010"George Says I Do... More in This Marriage"Joe RegalbutoKathy FischerDecember 7, 2005 (2005-12-07)2T74108.08[92]
George and Angie compete to see who does more work in their marriage and at home after George claims he does more. George is winning, but Vic convinces George let Angie win so that she won't leave him. Angie says she has 90 points, and George says he has 90 too in order to protect their marriage, but Angie really had 120; George snaps, not caring about their marriage anymore as he truly was the winner. However, Angie does not believe him. Because of this, George has to do Angie's chores for a month, and in the end of the episode, George starts acting like Angie and vice versa.
9111"George is Being Elfish and Christ-misses His Family"Joe RegalbutoPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveDecember 14, 2005 (2005-12-14)2T74117.16[93]
George ends up spending Christmas all by himself after he gets caught telling a lie in order to get out of spending the holidays with Angie's family. There was a video vision George had featuring the family in a Christmas special and Benny as a penguin.
9212"George Enrolls Like That"Joe RegalbutoRick NyholmJanuary 25, 2006 (2006-01-25)2T74136.31[94]
George has to go to a school assembly (Angie tricked him into it), but finds out it is only for parents who didn't go to college; but George doesn't want to go because he thinks college is a waste of time, and boasted he owns a successful factory by not going. After Max skipped a test at school, he decides to not go to college, so he and George make a deal that if George goes to college, then Max will go too. However, he struggles with his microeconomics class, and is known as a class clown in school. The professor, Tracy Lim (Ming-Na Wen), tries to help him, but George declines.
9313"George Keeps Truant to Himself"Bob KoherrJohn R. MoreyFebruary 1, 2006 (2006-02-01)2T74145.83[95]
When things get tough for George, he drops out of school. He tries to keep it a secret from his wife and kids, but his professor drops by for an unexpected (and unwelcomed) visit to give Angie food because George lied to her and said that he was joining the Army, and that Lim's husband was also an Army who was killed in battle. When George tells the truth, Tracy gets mad, and leaves. Later, Max overhears that George dropped out, but he later agrees to go to college when George told him that he was proud Max succeeded on his schoolwork because George didn't have anyone that was proud of him.
9414"The Kidney Stays in the Picture"Joe RegalbutoJim HopeFebruary 8, 2006 (2006-02-08)2T74126.40[96]
Max gets a girlfriend named Christie, whom he only makes out with. However, when Max starts to frequently wet the bed, Vic thinks that he may be sexually active. A trip to the doctor reveals that Max needs surgery on his kidney because his urine is backing up due to the tubes leading to Max's kidneys are top narrow. George is in despair as Manny died from kidney problems and he passed those bad genes to Max.
9515"A Funeral Brings George to His Niece"Bob KoherrLuisa LeschinFebruary 15, 2006 (2006-02-15)2T74156.16[97]
At the funeral of Angie's former sister-in-law, George surprises the entire Palmero family when a video will of Angie's sister-in-law picks him as the trustee of his niece's multi-million dollar inheritance. However, George is strict with Veronica (Aimee Garcia), and refuses to give her the money unless she is mature enough, and only gives her a $40-a-week allowance. Max develops a crush on Veronica, and helps her shoplift pretty clothes. The next day, Veronica gets a job at the mall, but she quits and goes to the bar, where she gets high on marijuana. George forces Veronica to enroll in college.
9616"George Gets Caught in a Powers Play"Bob KoherrKathy FischerFebruary 22, 2006 (2006-02-22)2T74165.90[98]
George tries to teach his niece the meaning of a dollar by making her work at the factory. However, her beauty makes Ernie do all of her work, until George puts a stop to it. In the factory, Mel falls for Veronica, which causes some problems, as they plan to make out and have sex in a hotel room. However, Veronica enrolls in college easily, and dumps Mel due to the boredom.
9717"George Doesn't Trustee Angie's Brother"Sheldon EppsPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveMarch 1, 2006 (2006-03-01)2T74175.40[99]
Angie's con man brother, Ray (Andy García), comes to visit Angie and pay back money owed to Vic and George. But George is the first to see through Ray's scheme when Ray asks Veronica to tap into her inheritance to invest in a new company. In the end he tries to walk away at night but is caught by George, who reveals that he wrote the name Carlos Santana on the check he gave Ray to cancel it; he also stuffed firecrackers in the suitcase Ray owns. After Ray leaves, George gives Veronica some of her inheritance to go to college.
9818"George Helps Ernie See the Cellu-Light"Sheldon EppsDave CaplanMarch 15, 2006 (2006-03-15)2T74186.71[100]
After Mel threatens to fire Ernie for being overweight, George tries to help the latter lose 20 pounds. Ernie is determined to sue the factory for terminating a fat person. George then finds out that Ernie has been gaining weight because of his depression which is caused by the lifelong rejection of him by women.
9919"George Gets Cross Over Freddie"Katy GarretsonStacey PulwerMarch 22, 2006 (2006-03-22)2T74217.24[101]
In a crossover episode with Freddie, George discovers that Max has begun an online romance with a teenage girl from Chicago. When he assumes his son's identity to protect him from what he suspects is an internet predator, George comes face to face offline with Freddie Moreno (Freddie Prinze Jr.) when he and Chris (Brian Austin Green) take a business trip to Los Angeles. Ernie tries to get along with Chris. They all realize that Max and Zoey (Chloe Suazo) were really chatting and become friends.
10020"George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money"Katy GarretsonGeorge LopezMarch 29, 2006 (2006-03-29)2T74196.63[102]

George takes over planning a wedding for one of Angie's rich clients (special guest star Eva Longoria) in order to prove he can do her job better than can she. However, George finds out "god gave [the bride] all that pretty to cover up all [her] crazy" as she is constantly stressing over the details and constantly makes minute changes such as the writing on the invitations. It gets stranger to the point where George needs to get a scarecrow fitted for a tux. However, the wedding goes along well in the end, except for the sudden rain storm. George quickly escapes, and so do the guest, leaving the crazy bride to scream in frustration that it's supposed to be her special day.

Note: This episodes ends with George spending his commission on a picture of him holding a cigar that appears in "George Nieces a New Media Room".
10121"George Discovers How Mescal-ed Up His Life Would Have Been Without the Benny-Fits"Joe RegalbutoValentina GarzaApril 5, 2006 (2006-04-05)2T74206.07[103]
Benny gets really angry when she discovers that George has rigged the results of a productivity contest at the factory favor to Gina, her worst enemy. She gets back at him by breaking his favorite golf club, and having Angie on her side. Later, George drinks tequila (with the worm) and hallucinates him living Ernie's life, with Ernie living his life. Just because Benny was not mean to him so he would not have been tough enough to go and be the manager at Powers Bros. and win over Angie. In the end, George sees Vic dressed up as a worm, and leaves. Ernie decides to eat many worms so he could witness him having sex with Angie.
10222"It's a Cliffhanger, By George"Joe RegalbutoRobert BordenApril 12, 2006 (2006-04-12)2T74226.81[104]
Everything hangs in the balance for the entire Lopez family: Ernie tells George that the factory is moving to Mexico and they will both be jobless; after Benny reunites with her ex, Ernie tells George that Benny's ex robbed a convenience store and calls the cops, though it is for a past crime Benny committed; Angie has been feeling sick for a few days and awaits the results of a home pregnancy test; Carmen is afraid to open her final college letter after being rejected by Northwestern, Iowa, and Columbia; Max has swiped a forbidden beer and is about to sample his first alcohol; and Vic prepares to propose marriage to a 27-year-old woman he barely knows.

Season 6 (2007)

[edit]
No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
U.S. viewers
(millions)
1031"George's Mom Faces Hard Tambien"Joe RegalbutoDave CaplanJanuary 24, 2007 (2007-01-24)3T52016.08[105]
Angie discovers that the Lopez family could be growing due to her pregnancy, just as Carmen prepares to go off to her college in Vermont (which therefore makes this episode her last appearance). George's job is no longer in jeopardy, Benny faces jail time for a crime from 30 years ago even though the statute of limitations of a crime would be vacated in real life, Max has a hangover, Vic contemplates engagement to a 27-year-old, and Angie finds out she isn't really pregnant, but keeps it from George.
1042"George's House Has Two Empty Wombs"Joe RegalbutoPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveJanuary 31, 2007 (2007-01-31)3T52027.71[106]
Angie maintains her story that she is pregnant to keep George from missing Carmen, even though she finds out the test was wrong. Vic introduces George and Angie to his 27-year-old fiance Lindsay (Stacy Keibler), who loves Vic only for his money, and uses him to get expensive items.
1053"George Nieces a New Media Room"Joe RegalbutoJim HopeFebruary 7, 2007 (2007-02-07)3T52037.03[107]
George has just finished remodeling Carmen's room into a new entertainment room, watching Clint Eastwood movies with surround sound, but Veronica returns, announcing her trust fund has been frozen by a relative (who is after the money), threatening her with bankruptcy. Angie forces George to allow Veronica to stay in the new room while she attends college (instead of the guest room), and Veronica brings her new boyfriend, her college professor who has a trust issue with his wife. After she dumps him, he begins to stalk Veronica, which ends with George punching him in the face, getting the professor arrested and George's TV being destroyed. After that, the cops told Veronica she can put a restraining order against the teacher, but George forces her to give up her diamond bracelet because of the TV being destroyed.
1064"George Testi-Lies for Benny"Bob KoherrRick NyholmFebruary 14, 2007 (2007-02-14)3T52047.13[108]

When Luisa Diaz, Benny's estranged mother (Rita Moreno), turns on her daughter during trial, Benny must rely on George's testimony and also secret from her mother that George was put up for adoption like her sister but the family gave him back to Benny, which helps her by getting her out of jail and she has to do several hundred hours of community service.

Guest star: Adam West as Benny's lawyer.
1075"Sabes Gay, It's George's Fantasy Episode"George LopezGeorge LopezFebruary 21, 2007 (2007-02-21)3T52095.83[109]
Following being humiliated at work, George drinks some tequila (with the worm), and hallucinates that he and Ernie are gay sweethearts who are soon to be united as life partners. Ernie gives up on meeting a woman he can spend his life with, deciding one-night-stands are better. Though the female bartender tries seducing him into having one with her, Ernie is oblivious and leaves.
1086"George Thinks Vic's Fiancée is Lion about Being a Cheetah"Bob KoherrLuisa LeschinFebruary 28, 2007 (2007-02-28)3T52066.04[110]
After George accidentally encourages Vic into tearing up the pre-nuptial agreement, he believes that Vic's fiancée is a gold digger and a cheater, and enlists the TV show Cheaters to help find out. After everything, George discovers Lindsay is cheating on Vic and he plans to get back with his ex-wife.
1097"George Helps Angie's Wha-Positive Self-Image By Saying You 'Sta Loca Good"Bob KoherrJohn R. MoreyMarch 7, 2007 (2007-03-07)3T52055.79[111]
When Angie gets concerned about losing her sexy looks while trying to get free satellite from the installer, George asks his niece, Veronica, to tone her sexuality down who was successful with the cable man. Angie continues to compare herself to Veronica, who is 10-20 years younger. George and Angie get invited to a party, but Angie dresses nearly nude in a nurse outfit in a desperate attempt to be sexy. George convinces her that there's a middle ground with how she takes care of herself, deciding they got "ten more years of hot, 20 years of not bad, and 5 years of 'did that smell come from me or you?"
1108"George's Grave Mistake Sends Him to a Funeral, Holmes"Sheldon EppsMichael LoftusMarch 14, 2007 (2007-03-14)3T52076.19[112]
George's poor memory comes back to haunt him when Angie's mother dies, and George cannot get another grave so Angie can be with her mom for eternity.
1119"George Joins the Neighborhood Wha-tcha and Raises the Vigil-ante"Sheldon EppsLaura HouseMarch 21, 2007 (2007-03-21)3T52085.92[113]
Cris Watson (Kristin Bauer van Straten), a registered sex offender, moves into the neighborhood so George warns Max not to go to her house. Nevertheless, one of George's neighbors (Tommy Chong) alerts George that Max has gone over there, but before anything happens George and Angie come to Cris' house to find a shirtless Max with a condom; after a talk they realize it was Max's idea to come to the house to have sex with Cris, having misbelieved they persuaded him. George decides to have "the talk" with him. He gives a good speech, but Angie arrives when he begins making jokes, thinking he was giving bad advice.
11210"George is Maid to be Ruth-Less"Victor GonzalezPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveApril 4, 2007 (2007-04-04)3T52115.99[114]
George and Angie hire a maid (Barbara Eden) who quickly cooks and cleans her way into George's heart but never cleans the house and a jealous Benny decides to steal money from Max and blame the maid and get her fired. George knowing Benny stole the money asks her why but showing her love for George gives him a hug and the maid quits.
11311"George is Lie-able for Benny's Unhappiness"Joe RegalbutoJim HopeApril 4, 2007 (2007-04-04)3T52126.53[114]
When Benny's ex-boyfriend Wayne (Jerry Springer) returns to town, George builds a web of lies to keep them from reuniting, which includes death.
11412"George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La"Victor GonzalezDave CaplanApril 11, 2007 (2007-04-11)3T52106.36[115]
After some out-of-control spending by George and Angie, they agree to decide who gets to spend money on $100+. After George's poker game is interrupted by Veronica, who is sent by Angie for revenge for getting a veto, they agree on a bet to be the most frugal. George ends up tricking Angie into eating expired cat food while realizing they can't keep the contest up as it's destroying their marriage.
11513"George Rocks to the Max and Gets Diss-Band-ed"Andy GarcíaJohn R. MoreyApril 11, 2007 (2007-04-11)3T52146.36[115]
George teaches Max the guitar as an attempt to relive his high school days. He soon regrets it when Max moves on without his dad and joins his own band. George jams with Max to cheer him up because the garage was only used as somewhere for the band to play.
11614"George Gets Smoking Mad at Benny and Develops an Órale Fixation"Sheldon EppsPaul A. Kaplan & Mark TorgroveApril 24, 2007 (2007-04-24)3T52154.45[116]
When Powers Aviation institutes a smoking ban as part of a new health plan, Benny's nicotine withdrawals drive George to being forced away from her, because he makes Benny smoke; ironically, until this point neither realized this. In the end, Benny quits working at the factory because George was going crazy, and eating tons of unhealthy food to keep his negative comments to himself, knowing he's the reason she smokes.
11715"George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie"Sheldon EppsLuisa LeschinApril 24, 2007 (2007-04-24)3T52164.89[116]

The Lopez family strikes out against a new neighbor who's decorated his front lawn with an offensive art display (a statue of a sleeping Mexican). Benny breaks it, earning praise from George. However, the new neighbor puts up two idenitcal statues and one of a donkey. Max copies Benny's actions, nearly getting arrested. George scolds him and Angie gets a petition to remove the statues.

Guest Starring: Mario Lopez

Note: This episode features a running gag where George keeps saying the neighbor's garden gnome looks like Benny; "Put my mom in a pointy hat and let her beard grow, they could be twins".
11816"George's Bogey-ous Relationship with Vic Is Putt to the Test"Joe RegalbutoRick NyholmMay 1, 2007 (2007-05-01)3T52134.61[117]
Vic feigns fatherly love so George will play in a father-son golf tournament against his longtime rival and his son, (played by Oscar De La Hoya). But George gets angry after discovering Vic's true intentions and throws the game.
11917"George Thinks Max's Future Is on the Line"Joe RegalbutoDave CaplanMay 8, 2007 (2007-05-08)3T5217RX4.60[118]

George puts Max to work at the factory (to clean up the place) to emphasize the importance of education and to pay for a new computer because he broke it, but Max soon wants to stay at the factory forever; Max is thanked and congratulated for all his work by the employees, while he never got any of that in school. George accepts this at first, but has one of his nightmares: a fast-forward to 20 years in the future. George is still in good health, while Benny is on an oxygen tank and had to give up smoking. Ernie then reveals that their jobs have been taken by robots (which are sentient in this dream). A disheartened Max blames George for not making him get a better education. Startled by this possibility, George forces Max to get an education; however, Max agrees so long as he has the option of returning to the factory.

Powers Aviation's workers are worried when a rumor spreads that the new owner of the factory is moving it to Mexico and everyone loses their jobs.
12018"George Decides to Sta-Local Where It's Familia"Joe RegalbutoBruce HelfordMay 8, 2007 (2007-05-08)3T5218RX4.60[118]
A multimillionaire Hector Vega (Edward James Olmos) buys Powers Aviation and asks George to stay on board if he is willing to move to Phoenix, AZ. George almost agrees, but then joins a factory boycott when everyone comes and tells him how much they will miss him. The owner agrees to keep the original workers and George ends up running the factory on his own, due to the departure of Jack and Mel. Hector then discovers he would be able to get some tax credits by keeping the factory with the original workers.

References

[edit]
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