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'''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
{{Otheruses4|the United States retail company|the Australian retail stores|Target Australia}}
----
{{pp-move-vandalism|small=yes}}
== Background ==
{{Infobox Company |
{{wikipedia}}
company_name = Target Corporation |
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.
company_logo = [[Image:Target logo.svg|125px]] |
company_type = [[Public company|Public]] ({{nyse|TGT}}) |
company_slogan = ''Expect More. Pay Less.'' |
foundation = 1902 <small>as R.S. Goodfellow</small><br/>1903 <small>as Dayton Dry Goods</small><br/>1969 <small>as Dayton-Hudson</small><br/>2000 <small>as Target</small>|
founder = [[George Dayton]] |
location = [[Minneapolis, Minnesota|Minneapolis]], [[Minnesota]] |
area_served = [[United States]]<br /><small>excepting Vermont</small> |
key_people = [[Gregg Steinhafel]],<br /><small>[[chairman]], [[president]],</small><br /><small>and [[chief executive officer]]<small> |
industry = [[retail]] |
products = [[clothing]], [[housewares]], [[food]] |
homepage = [http://www.target.com/ target.com] |
revenue = {{profit}} [[United States dollar|US$]]64.948 billion|
operating_income = {{profit}} [[United States dollar|US$]] 3.536 billion|
net_income = {{profit}} [[United States dollar|US$]] 2.214 billion|
assets = {{profit}} [[United States dollar|US$]] 44.106 billion|
equity = {{decrease}} [[United States dollar|US$]] 13.712 billion<br />(financials for fiscal 2008)<ref name="2008 financials">[http://sites.target.com/images/company/annual_report_2008/documents/2008_target_annualreport.pdf Target Corporation Fourth Quarter Earnings Per Share $1.23], Target Corporation, February 26, 2008.</ref>|
num_employees = 351,000 (''2009'')|
}}


To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."
'''Target Corporation''' ({{nyse|TGT}}), usually known as '''Target''', is an [[United States|American]] [[retailing]] company that was founded in [[Minneapolis, Minnesota]] in 1902 as the Dayton Dry Goods Company. In 1962, the first Target store opened in [[Roseville, Minnesota]], and in 2000 the company changed its name from Dayton Hudson to Target. Target Corporation has units in 49 U.S. [[states]] (the exception being [[Vermont]] {{as of|2008|10|lc=on}})<ref name=community>[http://pressroom.target.com/pr/news/community/other-community/fastfacts.aspx Fast Facts], Target Corporation, September 18, 2006.</ref>, operating under the mastheads of Target, Target Greatland, and SuperTarget.


== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
Target is the fifth-largest retailer by sales revenue in the [[United States]], behind [[Wal-Mart]], [[The Home Depot]], [[Kroger]], and [[Costco]].<ref>[http://www.stores.org/pdf/07TOP100Chart.pdf Top 100 Retailers: The Nation's Retail Power Players (PDF)], ''Stores'', July 2007.</ref> The company is ranked at number 31 on the [[Fortune 500]] {{as of|2008|lc=on}}. Target operates its retailing business exclusively in the United States. It is a rival and competitor of [[Kmart]] and [[Wal-Mart]]. Target is a component of the [[Standard and Poor's]] 500 index. Target Corporation in the United States is not affiliated with [[Wesfarmers]] or their [[Target Australia]] retail stores.
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.


The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].
==History==
===1902–1962: Dayton's===
{{Main|Dayton's}}
In 1902, George Dayton constructed a six-story building in downtown Minneapolis and convinced R.S. Goodfellow Company to move its Goodfellows department store into the location. The store's owner, Reuben Simon Goodfellow, retired and sold his interest in the store to George Dayton.<ref name=rowley>Rowley, Laura (2003) ''On Target: How the World's Hottest Retailer Hit a Bull's-eye'' John Wiley & Sons; Hoboken, New Jersey. ISBN 0-471-25067-8.</ref> In 1903, the store changed its name to the Dayton Dry Goods Company, and it changed its name again to the Dayton Company in 1911. In the 1950s, it acquired the [[Portland, Oregon]]-based [[Lipmans]] department store company and operated it as a separate division.<ref name="lipmans">[http://www.pdxhistory.com/html/lipman_wolfe.html Lipman Wolfe and Co.], June 24, 2006.</ref> In 1956, the Dayton Company opened [[Southdale Center|Southdale]], the world's first fully-enclosed two-level shopping center in [[Edina, Minnesota]], a suburb of Minneapolis.<ref>[http://www.southdale.com/stellent01/groups/public/@mallsouthdale/documents/webassets/029241.pdf Dayton's and Southdale Stores], Rudder & Finn, October 7, 1956.</ref> The Dayton Company also became a [[retail chain]] by opening its second Dayton's store in Southdale.


On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"
===1962–1971: The founding of Target===
[[Image:Target logo (1968).png|thumb|right|175px|Target's original bullseye logo from 1962 until 1968.]]
In 1962, the Dayton Company, using a concept developed by [[John F. Geisse]], entered discount merchandising by opening its first Target discount store in [[Roseville, Minnesota]], a suburb north of [[Saint Paul, Minnesota|Saint Paul]]. The name "Target" originated from Dayton's publicity director, Stewart K. Widdess, and was intended to prevent consumers from associating the new discount store chain with the department store. The new subsidiary, Target Stores, ended its first year with four units, all in Minnesota. Target Stores lost money in its initial years, but in 1965 it reported its first gain with sales reaching $39 million, allowing a fifth store to open in Minneapolis. In 1966, Bruce Dayton launched the [[B. Dalton Bookseller]] specialty chain, which became the largest hardcover bookseller in the United States.<ref name="rowley" /> The bookseller chain was named after the founder, but with the ''y'' in Dayton replaced with an ''l''. Target Stores expanded outside of Minneapolis by opening two stores in [[Denver, Colorado]], and sales exceeded $60 million. In 1967, the Dayton Corporation was established and it went public with its first offering of common stock, and it opened two more Target stores in Minnesota resulting in a total of nine units.<ref name=growth>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_n18_v29/ai_8970766 From Roseville to Greatland, Target still hits the mark], ''Discount Store News'', September 17, 1990.</ref>


== Controversies ==
[[File:2009-0610-009-Roseville-TargetNo1.jpg|thumb|left|This SuperTarget sits on the site of the first Target store, which opened in 1962 and was torn down and replaced by this much larger store in 2005.]]
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.


[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]
In 1968, Target changed its bullseye logo to a more modern look, and expanded into [[St. Louis, Missouri]], with two new units. That year, Target Stores experienced a transition phase: Target's president and co-founder, Douglas J. Dayton, went back to the parent Dayton Corporation and was succeeded by William A. Hodder, and senior vice president and cofounder John Geisse left the company. He was later hired by St. Louis-based [[May Department Stores]], where he founded the [[Venture Stores]] chain.<ref name=growth /> Target Stores ended the year with 11 units and $130 million in sales. In 1969, it acquired the [[Lechmere]] electronics and appliances chain that operated in [[New England]], and expanded Target Stores into [[Texas]] and [[Oklahoma]] with six new units and its first [[distribution center]] in [[Fridley, Minnesota]].<ref name=lechmere>[http://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/Lechmere-Inc-Company-History.html Lechmere, Inc. company history], FundingUniverse.com.</ref> The Dayton Company also merged with the Detroit-based [[Hudson's|J.L. Hudson company]] that year, to become the Dayton-Hudson Corporation consisting of Target and five major department store chains: [[Dayton's]], [[Diamond's]] of [[Phoenix, Arizona]], [[Hudson's]], John A. Brown of [[Oklahoma City, Oklahoma]], and [[Lipmans]]. In 1970, Target Stores added seven new units, including two units in [[Wisconsin]], and the 24-unit chain reached $200 million in sales.<ref name=growth/> That year, Dayton-Hudson also acquired the Team Electronics specialty chain that was headed by Stephen L. Pistner.<ref name=team_electronics>[http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_n9_v33/ai_15194807 Ulrich moving up at DH: speculation mounts about naming a successor - Robert Ulrich becomes chairman of Dayton Hudson Corp], ''Discount Store News'', Richard Halverson, May 2, 1994.</ref>


[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.
===1971-1982: Turnaround===
[[Image:Target old logo.svg|250px|right|thumb|Target logo used from 1989 until 2004. Changes from the original logo are that its [[brandmark]] is a single red ring with a red dot in the middle, and its [[wordmark]] uses the [[Helvetica]] font.<ref name="helvetica">[http://www.slate.com/id/2166887/ The Helvetica Hegemony], ''Slate'', Mia Fineman, May 25, 2007.</ref>]]
In 1971, Dayton-Hudson acquired sixteen stores from the Arlan's department store chain in [[Colorado]], [[Iowa]], and [[Oklahoma]]. That year, two of those units reopened as Target stores, and in 1972 the other fourteen were reopened to make a total of 46 units. This caused the chain to experience another major transition phase: It reported its first decrease in profits since its initial years, as a result of the chain's rapid expansion and the top executives' lack of experience in discount retailing. Its loss in operational revenue was due to overstocking and carrying goods over multiple years regardless of inventory and storage costs. By then, Dayton Hudson considered selling off the Target Stores subsidiary. In 1973, Stephen Pistner, who had already revived Team Electronics and would later revive [[Montgomery Ward]] and [[Ames (discount stores)|Ames]], was named chief executive officer of Target Stores, and [[Kenneth A. Macke]] was named Target Stores's senior vice president. The new management saved the chain by marking down merchandise to clean out its overstock and by allowing only one new unit to open that year. In 1975, it opened two stores, reaching 49 units in nine states and $511 million in sales. That year, the Target discount chain became the company's top revenue producer.<ref name=growth/>


Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
In 1976, Target opened four new units and reached $600 million in sales. That year, Macke was promoted to president and chief executive officer of Target Stores. In 1977, Target Stores opened seven new units, and Stephen Pistner became president of Dayton Hudson, with Macke succeeding him as chairman and chief executive officer of Target Stores. The senior vice president of Dayton Hudson, Bruce G. Allbright, moved to Target Stores and succeeded Kenneth Macke as president. In 1978, the company acquired [[Mervyns]] and became the 7th largest retailer in the United States. Target Stores opened eight new stores that year, including its first [[shopping mall]] anchor store in [[Grand Forks, North Dakota]]. In 1979, it opened 13 new units to a total of 80 Target stores in eleven states and $1.12 billion in sales.<ref name="community">{{cite web |url=http://www.und.nodak.edu/dept/grad/html/gfinfo.html |title=Community of Grand Forks |accessdate=2007-06-11 |publisher=University of North Dakota }}</ref><ref name=growth/> In 1980, it sold its [[Lipmans]] department store chain of six units to [[Marshall Field's]], which rebranded the stores as [[Frederick & Nelson]].<ref name="lipmans" /> That year, Target Stores opened seventeen new units, including expansions into [[Tennessee]] and [[Kansas]]. It also acquired the [[Ayr-Way]] discount retail chain of 40 stores and one distribution center from [[Indianapolis, Indiana|Indianapolis]]-based L.S. Ayres & Company, which it reopened in 1981 as Target stores. That year, Stephen Pistner left the parent company to join [[Montgomery Ward]], and Kenneth Macke succeeded him as president of Dayton Hudson.<ref>[http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,956312,00.html?iid=chix-sphere Calling It Quits], ''Time'', John S. Demott, May 20, 1985.</ref> Floyd Hall succeeded Kenneth Macke as chairman and chief executive officer of Target Stores. Bruce Allbright left the company to work for [[F. W. Woolworth Company|Woolworth]], where he was named chairman and chief executive officer of [[Woolco]]. [[Bob Ulrich]] also became president and chief executive officer of Diamond's Department Stores in 1981.<ref name="ulrich_dsn">[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FNP/is_7_45/ai_n16124757 Leadership paves the way to company strength], ''DSN Retailing Today'', April 10, 2006.</ref> In addition to the Ayr-Way acquisition, Target Stores expanded by opening fourteen new units and a third distribution center in [[Little Rock, Arkansas]], to a total of 151 units and $2.05 billion in sales.<ref name=growth/>
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"


It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.
===1982–2000: West and East Coast expansion===
Since the launch of Target Stores to this point, it had focused its expansion in the [[Central United States]]. In 1982, it expanded into the [[West Coast of the United States]] by acquiring 33 [[FedMart]] stores in [[Arizona]], [[California]], and [[Texas]] and opening a fourth distribution center in [[Los Angeles]].<ref name=30_years>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_n8_v31/ai_12098940 1962-1992 Dayton's dream is on Target], ''Discount Store News'', April 20, 1992.</ref> That year, Bruce Allbright returned to Target Stores as its vice chairman and chief administrative officer, and the chain expanded to 167 units and $2.41 billion in sales. The 33 units acquired from FedMart were reopened as Target stores in 1983. Also in 1983, it founded the Plums off-price apparel [[specialty store]] chain with four units in the Los Angeles area, with an intended audience of middle-to-upper income women.


Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.
In 1984, it sold its Plums chain to [[Ross Stores]] after only 11 months of operation, and it sold its Diamond's and John A. Brown department store chains to [[Dillard's]].<ref>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4298/is_198402/ai_n14972822 Plums fall doesn't cause too many shock waves], ''Discount Store News'', Sidney Rutberg, February, 1984.</ref><ref>[http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_v23/ai_3183523 Dayton Hudson, sour on Plums, sells its 11-month-old off-pricer], ''Discount Store News'', March 19, 1984.</ref><ref name=dillards>[http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9903E2DB1438F933A2575BC0A962948260 Dayton-Hudson In Dillard Deal], ''The New York Times'', August 10, 1984.</ref> Meanwhile, Target Stores added nine new units to a total of 215 stores and $3.55 billion in sales. Floyd Hall left the company and Bruce Allbright succeeded him as chairman and chief executive officer of Target Stores. In May 1984, Bob Ulrich became president of the Dayton Hudson Department Store Division, and in December 1984 became president of Target Stores.<ref name="ulrich_dsn" />


In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.
In 1986, the company acquired 50 [[Gemco]] stores from [[Lucky Stores]] in [[California]], allowing Target Stores to become the dominant retailer in [[Southern California]] as the chain grew to a total of 246 units. It also opened a fifth distribution center in [[Pueblo, Colorado]]. Dayton-Hudson sold the B. Dalton Bookseller chain of several hundred units to [[Barnes & Noble]].<ref name="rowley" /> In 1987, the acquired Gemco units reopened as Target units, and Target Stores expanded into [[Michigan]] and [[Nevada]], including six new units in [[Detroit, Michigan]], to compete directly against Detroit-based [[Kmart]], leading to a total of 317 units in 24 states and $5.3 billion in sales. Bruce Allbright became president of Dayton Hudson, and Bob Ulrich succeeded him as chairman and chief executive officer of Target Stores.<ref name="ulrich_dsn" /> In 1988, Target Stores expanded into the [[Northwestern United States]] by opening eight units in [[Washington]] and three in [[Oregon]], to a total of 341 units in 27 states. It also opened a distribution center in [[Sacramento, California]], and replaced the existing distribution center in [[Indianapolis, Indiana]], from the Ayr-Way acquisition with a new one.<ref name=growth/>


== Latest Offerings ==
In 1989, it expanded by 60 units, especially in the [[Southeastern United States]] where it entered [[Florida]], [[Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]], [[North Carolina]], and [[South Carolina]] to a total of 399 units in 30 states with $7.51 billion in sales.<ref name=growth/> This included an acquisition of 31 more stores from [[Federated Department Stores]]' [[Gold Circle]] and [[Richway]] chains in Florida, Georgia, and North Carolina, which were later reopened as Target stores.<ref name=30_years /> It also sold its [[Lechmere]] chain that year to a group of investors including [[Berkshire Partners]], a leveraged buy-out firm based in [[Boston, Massachusetts]], eight Lechmere executives, and two local shopping mall executives.<ref name=lechmere/>
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.


There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.
In 1990, it acquired [[Marshall Field's]] from [[BATUS Inc.]] and Target Stores opened its first [[#Target Greatland|Target Greatland]] general merchandise superstore in [[Apple Valley, Minnesota]]. In 1991, Target Stores had opened 43 Target Greatland units, and sales reached $9.01 billion. In 1992, it created a short-lived chain of apparel [[specialty store]]s called Everyday Hero with two stores in Minneapolis.<ref name=30_years/> They attempted to compete against other apparel specialty stores such as [[Gap (clothing retailer)|GAP]] by offering [[private label]] apparel such as its Merona brand. In 1993, it created a chain of [[closeout store]]s called Smarts for liquidating clearance merchandise, such as private label apparel, that did not appeal to typical closeout chains that were only interested in national brands.<ref name=smarts>[http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_n9_v32/ai_13837855 Target sets test of new Smarts closeout store], ''Discount Store News'', Richard Halverson, May 3, 1993</ref> It operated four Smarts units out of former Target stores in [[Rancho Cucamonga, California]], [[Des Moines, Iowa]], [[El Paso, Texas]], and [[Indianapolis, Indiana]] that each closed out merchandise in nearby distribution centers.<ref name="smarts_close">[http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-6342492_ITM Target Stores to Close Experiemental <nowiki>[sic]</nowiki> Clearance Outlets], ''The Indianapolis Star'', July 27, 1995.</ref> In 1994, Kenneth Macke left the company, and Bob Ulrich succeeded him as the new chairman of Dayton-Hudson.<ref name=team_electronics />


== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
In 1995, Target Stores opened its first [[#SuperTarget|SuperTarget]] [[hypermarket]] in [[Omaha, Nebraska]]. It also closed the four Smarts units after only two years of operation.<ref name="smarts_close" /> Its store count increased to 670 with $15.7 billion in sales, and in 1996 to 736 units with $17.8 billion in sales.<ref name="2000 report" /> In 1997, both of the Everyday Hero stores were closed.<ref name=everyday_hero>[http://www.bizjournals.com/twincities/stories/1997/09/08/daily9.html Target closes Everyday Hero in Mall of America], ''Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal'', September 11, 1997.</ref> Target's store count rose to 796 units, and sales rose to $20.2 billion.<ref name="2000 report" /> In 1998, it acquired [[Greenspring Company]]'s multi-catalog direct marketing unit, the Rivertown Trading Company, from [[Minnesota Communications Group]], and it acquired the Associated Merchandising Corporation, an apparel supplier.<ref name=rivertown>[http://access.minnesota.publicradio.org/press_releases/releases_archive/releases/19980323_rtownsale.html MPR parent sells Rivertown Trading Co. to Dayton Hudson], Minnesota Public Radio, March 23, 1998.</ref><ref name="amc">[http://www.amchamthailand.com/acct/asp/corpdetail.asp?CorpID=212 Associated Merchandising Corporation], ''The American Chamber of Commerce in Thailand''.</ref> Target Stores grew to 851 units and $23.0 billion in sales.<ref name="2000 report" /> In 1999, it acquired [[Fedco]] and its ten stores in a move to expand its SuperTarget operation into [[Southern California]]. It reopened six of these stores under the Target brand and sold the other four locations to [[Wal-Mart]], [[Home Depot]], and the [[Ontario, California|Ontario]] Police Department, and its store count rose to 912 units in 44 states with sales reaching $26.0 billion.<ref name="community" /><ref name="2000 report" /><ref name=fedco>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_14_38/ai_55302142 Target buys Fedco for SuperT], ''Discount Store News'', July 26, 1999.</ref> On [[September 7]], [[1999]], it relaunched its Target.com website as an [[electronic commerce|e-commerce]] site and as part of its discount retail division. The site initially offered merchandise that differentiated its stores from its competitors, such as its [[Michael Graves]] brand.<ref name=targetdotcom>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_18_38/ai_56029620 Target may step up NE rollouts; debuts long-awaited e-tail site], ''Discount Store News'', September 20, 1999.</ref>
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.


Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.
===2000–present: Target Corporation===
In January 2000, Dayton Hudson Corporation changed its name to Target Corporation and its ticker symbol to TGT; by then, between 75 percent and 80 percent of the corporation's total sales and earnings came from Target Stores, while the other four chains&mdash;[[Dayton's]], [[Hudson's]], [[Marshall Field's]], and [[Mervyns]]&mdash;were used to fuel the growth of the discount chain, which expanded to 977 stores in 46 states and sales reached $29.7 billion by the end of the year.<ref name="community" /> It also separated its e-commerce operations from its retailing division, and combined it with its Rivertown Trading unit into a stand-alone subsidiary called target.direct.<ref name=namechange>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_4_39/ai_59649452 Target is the name], ''Discount Store News'', February 21, 2000.</ref> In 2001, it announced that its Dayton's and Hudson's stores would operate under the Marshall Field's brand, which was the most recognizable name in the Department Stores Division. Target Stores expanded into [[Maine]], reaching 1053 units in 47 states and $33.0 billion in sales.<ref name=
"2000 report">[http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/irol/65/65828/reports/2000_TGT_annual.pdf Target Corporation 2000 Annual Report], ''Target Corporation''.</ref><ref>[http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/irol/65/65828/reports/2001_TGT_annual_HTML/business/2_expansion.htm Target Corporation 2001 Annual Report], ''Target Corporation''.</ref> In 2002, it expanded to 1147 units, which included stores in San Leandro (Bayfair Mall), Fremont, and Hayward, California, and sales reached $37.4 billion, and in 2003 it reached 1225 units and $42.0 billion in sales.<ref name="community" />


David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".
On [[June 9]], [[2004]], Target Corporation announced its sale of the Marshall Field's chain to [[St. Louis, Missouri]]-based [[May Department Stores]], which would become effective [[July 31]], [[2004]]. As well, on [[July 21]], [[2004]], Target Corporation announced the sale of Mervyns to an investment consortium including [[Sun Capital Partners, Inc.]], [[Cerberus Capital Management]], L.P., Lubert-Adler/ Klaff and Partners, L.P., which was finalized [[September 2]]. Target Stores expanded to 1308 units and reached $46.8 billion USD in sales. In 2005, it reached 1397 units and $52.6 billion in sales, and in 2006 it expanded to 1488 units and sales reached $59.4 billion.<ref name="community" /><ref name="2006 financials">[http://investors.target.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=65828&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=967693 Target Corporation Fourth Quarter Earnings Per Share $1.29], Target Corporation, February 27, 2007.</ref>


==Enchirito==
In May 2005, Target began operation in [[Bangalore]], [[India]], and these operations currently support all Target business units.<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-001085 Target Website]</ref> In 2006, Target completed construction of the Robert J. Ulrich Center in Embassy Golf Links in Bangalore, and Target plans to continue its expansion into India with the construction of additional office space at the Mysore Corporate Campus.<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-004529 Target Website]</ref>
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.


== How it Works ==
[[Image:Cash Registers.JPG|thumb|250px|Left|The [[point of sale]] in a Target store]]
[[Image:Bullseye Bodega 6 Av jeh.JPG|thumb|Bullseye Bodega subsidiary, in [[Midtown Manhattan]]]]
[[File:Target Plaza South.jpg|right|185px|thumb|Target Corporation headquarters with Target Light System, created by [[3M]].<ref>[http://www.bizjournals.com/twincities/stories/2003/04/14/focus2.html?page=1 Target Lights create evolving Minneapolis landmark], ''Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal'', April 11, 2003.</ref>]]
On [[January 9]], [[2008]], Bob Ulrich announced his plans to retire as CEO, and named Gregg Steinhafel as his successor. This is due to Target Corporation policy which requires its high ranking officers to retire at the age of 65. Ulrich's retirement as CEO was effective [[May 1]], but he will remain the chairman of the board until the end of the 2008 fiscal year.


This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:
On [[March 4]], [[2009]], Target expanded outside of the continental United States for the first time. Two stores were opened simultaneously on the island of Oahu in Hawaii, along with two stores in Alaska. Despite the economic downturn, media reports indicated sizable crowds and brisk sales.


8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.
==Subsidiaries==
Today, Target Corporation has its headquarters on [[Nicollet Mall]] in Minneapolis, near the site of the original Goodfellows store. As well as the main retail subsidiary, Target Stores, the company owns several other subsidiaries, which include:


3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."
*'''Target Financial Services (TFS)''': issues Target's credit cards, known as the Target REDcard, consisting of the Target [[VISA]] and the Target Card (formerly the Target Guest Card), issued through Target National Bank (formerly Retailers National Bank) for consumers and through Target Bank for businesses. Target Financial Services also oversees GiftCard balances. In October 2007, Target launched its PIN based debit card, the Target Check Card. The Target Check Card withdraws funds from the customer's existing checking account, and allows for up to $40 "cash back". The check card allows customers to accumulate points towards Target Rewards, as well as designate a school for Target's Take Charge of Education program, and accumulate pharmacy rewards. Unlike the Target Card and the Target Visa, customers do not receive an instant 10% discount for opening the account.
*'''Target Sourcing Services/The Associated Merchandising Corporation (TSS/AMC)''': This global sourcing organization locates merchandise from around the world for Target and helps import the merchandise to the United States. Such merchandise include garments, furniture, bedding, and towels. TSS/AMC has 27 full-service offices, 48 quality-control offices, and seven commissionaires located throughout the world. TSS/AMC employs 1,200 people. Its engineers are responsible for evaluating the factories that do business with Target Corporation for quality, as well as labor rights and transshipment issues.<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-001092 Vendor Compliance], Target Corporation.</ref> It was acquired by Target Corporation in 1998, and was founded in 1916, previously owned by the clients it served.<ref>[http://www.theamc.com/history.html Target Sourcing Services/AMC History], ''Target Corporation''.</ref> It also acts as a buying office for [[Saks Incorporated]], [[Bloomingdale's]], [[Stage Stores Inc.]], [[TJ Maxx]], and [[Marshalls]].<ref name="amc" /> The Target Sourcing Services division locates merchandise exclusively for Target Stores and Target.com.
*'''Target Commercial Interiors''': provides design services and furniture for office space and originated in the home furniture department at Dayton’s.<ref name=DTJ121407>Michelle Bruch, [http://www.downtownjournal.com/index.php?&story=10629&page=65&category=54 Target taking over Crate & Barrel space on Nicollet Mall], ''Downtown Journal'', December 14, 2007.</ref> Currently, Target Commercial Interiors has an unusually high market share of Fortune 500/1000 business customers, and are expanding to attract small to medium sized businesses, as well as home offices. This subsidiary has six showrooms in [[Illinois]], [[Minnesota]], and [[Wisconsin]], including a first-of-its-kind retail concept store and showroom in [[Bloomington, Minnesota]] that opened on [[June 23]], [[2005]].
*'''Target Brands''': owns and oversees the company's [[private label]] products, including the grocery brands [[Archer Farms]] and Market Pantry, Sutton & Dodge, their premium meat line, and the electronics brand Trutech. In addition, [[Bullseye (Bull Terrier)|Bullseye]] Dog is a trademark, and the Bullseye Design and 'Target' are registered trademarks of Target Brands.
*'''Target.com''': owns and oversees the company's [[Electronic commerce|e-commerce]] initiatives, such as the Target.com domain. Founded in early 2000 as target.direct, it was formed by separating the company's existing e-commerce operations from its retailing division, and combining it with its Rivertown Trading direct marketing unit into a stand-alone subsidiary.<ref name=namechange/> In 2002, target.direct and [[Amazon.com]]'s subsidiary Amazon Enterprise Solutions created a partnership in which Amazon.com would provide order fulfillment and guest services for Target.com in exchange for fixed and variable fees. This electronic commerce relationship between target.direct and Amazon Enterprise Solutions will last until August 2010.<ref>[http://www.writenews.com/2002/082102_amazon_target.htm Target and Amazon.com Expand Online Target Store], The Write News, August 21, 2002.</ref><ref>[http://news.target.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=196187&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=883195&highlight= Target Corporation and Amazon Enterprise Solutions Extend E-Commerce Agreement to 2010], Target Corporation, July 18, 2006.</ref> After the company sold Marshall Field's and Mervyns in 2004, target.direct became Target.com. The domain ''target.com'' attracted at least 288 million visitors annually by 2008 according to a [[Compete.com]] survey.<ref>[http://siteanalytics.compete.com/target.com?metric=uv]</ref>


3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.
==Target Stores==


7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"
[[Image:Illinois Target Store.jpg|thumb|285px|The exterior of a typical Target Store pre-2004 at [[Illinois]].]]


7:26pm -- You give him your order.
'''Target''' is a chain of [[discount department store]]s that are about 95,000 to 135,000 square feet (12,000 m²) and carry hardlines ("regular" products and goods), softlines (clothing), and a limited amount of groceries, mostly non-perishable. Specifically, Target stores carry clothing, shoes, jewelry, health and beauty products, electronics, compact discs, [[DVD]]s, bedding, kitchen supplies, sporting goods, toys, pet supplies, automotive supplies, and hardware supplies. They also carry seasonal merchandise such as patio furniture during the summer and [[Christmas]] decorations during November and December. Many stores may also have Target Optical, a portrait studio, and a garden center and most all new locations built after 2004 include Target Photo, Target [[Pharmacy]], [[Starbucks|Starbucks Coffee]], and a [[Pizza Hut|Pizza Hut Express]] standard in addition to "Food Avenue". It has also been reported that [[Cold Stone Creamery]] and Target have signed a deal to test in-store ice cream shops in three stores.<ref>[http://www.retailnet.com/story.cfm?ID=28398 Cold Stone Creamery to Open Test Stores in Target], Chain Store Age, May 5, 2006.</ref> In 2008, Target has begun to use the name "Target Cafe" in place of "Food Avenue", as noted on in-store coupons.


7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.
The first Target stores included leased supermarkets in addition to general merchandise, which during the time was a common practice by discount retailers as they attempted to offer a one-stop shopping experience to customers. Douglas Dayton stated in 1967 that "we believe that the discount-grocery store is a necessary ingredient in what we offer the customer. After all, food sales are about 40% of all department store-type merchandise sales, so the two kinds of stores go hand-in-hand and are what people think of when they think of a discount store." However, by the end of the decade, Target started moving away from this general merchandise and leased supermarket practice. In 1969, Target opened its first store consisting of only general merchandise.<ref name=30_years/> As an effort to continue to compete and stand out in the competitive U.S. food market, meat and produce were placed with grocery in two general merchandise Target stores as a test project in early 2009, and may be expanded to new and re-modeled P2004 locations if sales fare well.<ref>http://supermarketnews.com/news/target_food_0225/</ref>
[[Image:Target in Miami.jpg|thumb|285px|The exterior of new Target store in Miami, FL which takes cues from local architecture.]]
[[Image:TargetHollywoodCA.JPG|thumb|left|285px|The exterior of the Target in busy West Hollywood, CA.]]
In the past, the one-hour photo processing labs were not owned by Target but by [[Qualex]], a subsidiary of [[Eastman Kodak]], and were staffed by employees of Qualex, not Target. However, in June 2005, Target spokeswoman Brie Heath announced that Target Corporation will replace the Qualex photo labs with their own labs running Kodak equipment, and will staff them with Target employees. Unlike the previous Qualex labs, all photo processing is done "in house", including next-day, digital, and [[Kodak]] Perfect Touch processing, although a few labs have been replaced with "send-out" only service with a self-service [[Kodak Picture Maker]] kiosk. A select number of "test" stores are running with [[Fujifilm]] equipment instead of Kodak.<ref>[http://www.allbusiness.com/professional-scientific/professional-services-photographic/465782-1.html BJ's closes photofinishing kiosks], Photo Marketing Newline, June 22, 2005.</ref> Target has also partnered with [[Yahoo! Photos]] for online photo services, including ordering prints online for one-hour store pickup. This ended in September 2007. Target Photo now partners with [[Kodak Gallery]], [[Shutterfly]], and [[Photobucket]].


7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"
===Target Greatland===
[[Image:Target greatland 1917.jpg|thumb|385px|left|The exterior of a typical Target Greatland in [[Mount Laurel]], [[New Jersey]]. Unlike smaller Target stores, Target Greatlands feature double entrances.]]


7:30pm -- You say yesno
'''Target Greatland''' is a chain of general merchandise [[superstore]]s that are about 150,000 square feet (14,000 m²). Like [[Target Corporation#SuperTarget|SuperTargets]] (below), they carry a larger selection of general merchandise than a pre-2004 basic Target store; however, they do not have a full-line of groceries like [[meat]], [[bakery]], [[deli]], [[produce]] and [[dairy]], as many people have got the "Greatland" and "Super" branding confused. The first Target Greatland opened in [[Apple Valley, Minnesota]], in 1990, but has since been remodeled and expanded, becoming a SuperTarget. From 2005 to 2008, the company reorganized the sales floor, allowing them to double the grocery space and move some departments to streamline the layout to better match a typical P2004 Target floorplan. Prominent features include double entrances on single level stores along with an expanded Food Avenue. The snack bar may include a [[Pizza Hut|Pizza Hut Express]], [[Taco Bell|Taco Bell Express]], and/or a [[Starbucks]]. The construction of new Target Greatland stores has been phased out in favor of building Pfresh(P2004 prototypes with an even larger grocery selection and some produce, bakery, and fresh meat items) Target and SuperTarget stores, both with expanded sales floors.{{Citation needed|date=July 2007}} The last Target Greatland opened in 2007 and is located in [[Antioch]], [[California]].


[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
===SuperTarget===<!-- This section is linked from [[Warrenville, Illinois]] and [[Sawgrass Mills]] -->
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window
[[Image:SuperTarget2006PNG.PNG|100px|left|thumb|SuperTarget logo, 2006-present.]]
[[Image:SuperTarget .jpg|285px|thumb|The exterior of a typical SuperTarget in [[Salt Lake City]], [[Utah]]. Shown is the merchandise loading lane between the double entrances on the front of the building.]]
'''SuperTarget''' is a chain of [[hypermarket]]s that are about {{convert|175000|sqft|m2|abbr=on}}. Like Target Greatland, SuperTarget features double entrances on one-story stores. The store logo spells "Super" in green script up to 2006, from that point on, newer locations are signed in red block letters in the [[Helvetica]] font that the word "Target" uses in favor of a more streamlined red "Target Brand" look.<ref name="helvetica"/> SuperTarget stores offer everything found in a general merchandise Target store, but also include amenities such as a full grocery selection, fresh produce, bakery and deli. Most old locations and all new SuperTarget stores will include a Target Optical. Many SuperTarget stores may also feature [[Starbucks|Starbucks Coffee]], [[Pizza Hut|Pizza Hut Express]], [[Taco Bell|Taco Bell Express]], (which is currently being phased out in all Target locations), Target Pharmacy, The Studio @ Target (a portrait studio), Target Photo, and a [[Wells Fargo Bank]] or [[U.S. Bank]]. Select few stores in Maryland and the Twin Cities also have a new concept inside called Target Clinic.<ref>http://sites.target.com/site/en/spot/page.jsp?title=clinic%5fhome</ref> It is similar to Minute Clinic found in [[drug stores]] such as [[Walgreens]] or [[CVS/pharmacy]]. Unlike many other hypermarkets in the [[United States]] (such as [[Wal-Mart|Wal-Mart Supercenter]]s and [[Meijer]]), SuperTargets are not open twenty-four hours.


7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.
In the past, some SuperTargets featured an [[E*TRADE]] trading station instead of a bank. However, in June 2003, E*TRADE decided to remove all E*TRADE branches from their SuperTarget locations<ref>[http://www.bizjournals.com/sanfrancisco/stories/2003/06/02/daily69.html E-Trade closes trading stations], ''San Francisco Business Times'', June 6, 2003.</ref> without advance notice. This sudden move was not initiated by Target Corporation. [[Mitch Caplan|Mitchell Caplan]], E*TRADE's CEO at that time, said that "We were not able to make it into a profitable distribution channel...[w]e're better off exiting." E*TRADE also sent a letter of notification to their customers informing them about this change.


7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window
The first SuperTarget opened in [[Omaha, Nebraska]] in 1995, and the second SuperTarget opened in [[Lawrence, Kansas]], later that same year.<ref name=timeline>[http://sites.target.com/images/corporate/about/pdfs/target_history_timeline.pdf Target History Timeline (PDF)], Target Corporation.</ref> {{As of|2008|10}}, Target operated 218 SuperTarget stores in 22 [[U.S. state]]s, the majority of those are in Texas and Florida, with sizable numbers in Minnesota and Colorado.<ref name="community" /><ref name="factcard" />


9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.
===Urban stores===
[[Image:051207-MPLS-001downtownTarget.jpg|right|250px|thumb|The [[Nicollet Mall]], downtown Minneapolis Target, two stories with a varied facade to mimic multiple buildings; the tower in the background is Target Corp. headquarters.]]
While many Target stores share a fairly common [[big-box store]] layout, the company has been flexible with its designs. Target operates unique stores across the country in urban locations or within malls, in which a standard one-story building would not be feasible. These stores encompass multiple floors with both sales floor area and off stage areas such as offices or storage rooms spanning a number of these floors. Vertical transportation is provided in the store by [[escalator]], [[elevator]], or [[Vermaport]], a specialized escalator for carts.


9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.
Target has used their urban store concept to open multiple story stores in city centers such as in [[Brooklyn|Brooklyn, New York City]], [[Queens|Queens, New York City]], [[Glendale, California|Glendale]], [[Los Angeles, California|Los Angeles]], [[Chicago, Illinois|Chicago]], [[Pasadena, California]], [[San Diego, California|San Diego]], [[Washington, D.C.]], [[Atlanta, Georgia|Atlanta]], [[New Orleans, Louisiana|New Orleans]], and [[Minneapolis, Minnesota|Minneapolis]] within the corporation's headquarters complex. Building stores in these environments carries an elevated cost which is offset by the high potential for business that these stores can bring in. The Target store located on [[Nicollet Mall]] in Minneapolis features a three-story glass entrance and a design that sets it apart from suburban Target stores. This urban store alone cost Target Corporation [[United States dollar|$]]16.3 million.<ref>[http://news.minnesota.publicradio.org/features/200110/09_hughesa_newtarget/ Minneapolis Target store opens, but controversy doesn't end], Minnesota Public Radio, October 9, 2001.</ref> This concept has also been used to convert Target stores from former [[Bullock's]], [[Montgomery Ward]], [[J. W. Robinson's]], [[Robinsons-May]] and [[Younkers]] stores.<ref>[http://www.buildings.com/Articles/detail.asp?ArticleID=1392 On the Bull's Eye], ''Buildings Magazine'', June 2003.</ref>


10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit
===Distribution centers===
{{As of|2007|10}}, Target Corporation operates 26 distribution centers across the [[United States]].<ref name=factcard>[http://sites.target.com/images/corporate/about/pdfs/corp_factcard_101107.pdf Corporate Fact Card (PDF)], Target Corporation, October 10, 2007.</ref> Target opened two new distribution centers in 2006 ([[Rialto, California]] and [[DeKalb, Illinois]]) to support the growth of its stores. With the exception of vendor supplied items, such as greeting cards and soda, these distribution centers ship items directly to Target stores. Also, unlike Wal-Mart, Target's grocery selection does not come from their own distribution centers, but from the companies that Target has partnered with. For example, the produce carried in SuperTargets comes from [[Supervalu (United States)|Supervalu]] distribution centers, except in Colorado, which are serviced through FreshPack Produce Inc. of Denver, Colorado.<ref name=rowley/>


10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping
The retail chain's first distribution center opened in [[Fridley, Minnesota]], in 1969. It included a computerized distribution system and was known as the Northern Distribution Center. During this time, the chain consisted of seventeen stores after having expanded into [[Oklahoma]] and [[Texas]].<ref name=growth/>


12:43am -- You finish wiping
On [[August 9]], [[2004]], Target announced to their suppliers that they were going to perform a trial on the effects of [[RFID|radio frequency identification]] on the efficiency of [[supply chain management]] in the [[Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex]]. This trial involved one Target distribution center and ten nearby Target stores. Here, RFID tags would be placed on the bar codes of pallets and cartons to track the goods from the suppliers to the distribution center, and from the distribution center to the stores.<ref>[http://informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=26806887 Target Meets With Suppliers About RFID Plans], InformationWeek, August 10, 2004.</ref> As of [[2009]] RFID has been phased out of the [[Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex]] stores.


12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.
On January 27, 2009, Target announced the closing of its distribution center in Maumelle, Arkansas, the second-oldest in the company. The reason cited was the need to ensure that Target remains competitive in the long-term.<ref>[http://investors.target.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=65828&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1248941&highlight= Target announces workforce reduction]</ref>


12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)
==Differentiation==
[[Image:targetinterior.JPG|280px|thumb|Typical interior of a Target store]]
Target Corporation competes directly against other discount retailers, mainly [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Kmart]]. Since its founding in 1962, it has intended to differentiate its stores from its competitors by offering what it believes is more upscale, trend-forward merchandise at low cost, as opposed to the traditional concept of focusing on low-priced goods. Douglas J. Dayton, one of the Dayton brothers, explained John Geisse's concept:
{{cquote|"We will offer high-quality merchandise at low margins, because we are cutting expenses. We would much rather do this than trumpet dramatic price cuts on cheap merchandise."<ref name=growth/>}}


12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.
As a result, Target stores tend to attract younger and more educated and affluent customers than its competitors. Currently, the [[median]] Target shopper is 41 years old, which is the youngest of all major discount retailers that Target competes directly against. The median household income of Target's customer base is roughly $63,000 [[United States dollar|USD]]. Roughly 76% of Target customers are female, and more than 45% have children at home. About 80% have attended college and 48% have completed college.<ref name=community /><ref name=factcard/> Ninety-seven percent of American consumers recognize the Target Bullseye logo.


12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.
In October 2008, Target announced plans to fight the perception that their products are more expensive than those of other discount retailers, such as Wal-Mart. The company planned to add perishables to their inventory, cut back on discretionary items, and spend three-quarters of their marketing budget on advertising that emphasizes value and includes actual prices of items featured in ads. Target also planned to slow its expansion from about 100 stores a year down to 70 stores a year.<ref>[http://blog.marketingdoctor.tv/2008/10/24/value-for-money-is-back--target-does-marketing-right.aspx (2008-10-23)." Value For Money Is Back – Target Does Marketing Right," Marketing Doctor Blog.] </ref><ref>[http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/target-intensify-value-message-vend/story.aspx?guid={3530B21A-2435-466C-A282-42594139AE9F} (2008-10-23). "Target to emphasize value, add perishables," Market Watch.] </ref><ref>[http://www.istockanalyst.com/article/viewarticle+articleid_2802564.html (2008-11-15). "Earnings Preview – Target Corporation(NYSE:TGT)," iStockAnalyst.] </ref>


1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.
Target refers to itself as a "discount [[department store]]" instead of just a discount store.{{Citation needed|date=January 2007}} Target does not play any music in their stores. It also does not promote items or services through its [[public address system]]. Target designs its stores to be more attractive than Wal-Mart, and other large box-department stores by having wider aisles, drop ceilings, a more attractive presentation of merchandise and generally cleaner fixtures. In addition, special attention is given to the design of the store environment: Graphics reinforce Target's advertising imagery and shelves are dressed with contemporary signage, backdrops and liners, often printed on inexpensive material such as paper, corrugated and foam boards. Some stores&mdash;particularly those in the vicinity of major airports&mdash;have a [[bullseye (target)|bullseye]] painted on the roof that can be seen from above: the stores in [[Alexandria, Virginia]], near [[Washington National Airport]]; [[Rosemont, Illinois]], near [[O'Hare International Airport]]; and [[Richfield, Minnesota]], adjacent to [[Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport]] are among such locations. <ref>[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Target+loc:+Rosemont,+Illinois&ie=UTF8&z=18&ll=42.006903,-87.887095&spn=0.00287,0.006748&t=k&om=1 Target on roof top via Google Maps.] Accessed January 2007.</ref>


1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them
[[Image:ManahawkinTarget.jpg|thumb|right|280px|A newer Target Store design that opened in 2008 in [[Manahawkin, New Jersey]].]]


1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.
Some people jokingly give Target the pseudo-[[French language|French]] pronunciation {{IPA-en|tɑrˈʒeɪ|}} ''tar-{{sc|zhay}},'' as though it were an upscale boutique. This trend is incorrectly believed to have been started by [[Oprah Winfrey]], when she used the French pronunciation to refer to the store on her television show; it has actually been traced back to 1962, the year the first Target store opened; this was reinforced by a 1980s television advertisement starring [[Didi Conn]]. This pronunciation has also led some people to incorrectly believe that the company is French-owned.<ref name=rowley/>


1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.
Target calls its customers "Guests", its employees "Team Members", and its supervisors "Team Leaders". Also, managers are known as "Executive Team Lead (ETLs)" and the Store Manager is known as the "Store Team Leader (STL)". This practice was derived in 1989 from [[The Walt Disney Company]].<ref name=rowley/>


3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.
Target stores do not sell [[firearm]]s. In the early 1990s, they stopped selling toy guns that looked realistic and limited its toy gun selection to ones that were brightly colored and oddly shaped. They do not sell [[tobacco]] products and have not sold [[cigarette]]s since 1996.<ref name="responsibility report">[http://sites.target.com/images/corporate/about/pdfs/corp_responsibility_report_0406.pdf Corporate Responsibility Report (PDF)], Target Corporation, January 31, 2006.</ref>


5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.
Target has many exclusive deals with various designers and name-brands, including [[Michael Graves]], [[Mossimo|Mossimo Giannulli]], [[Fiorucci]], [[Liz Lange]], and [[Converse]] among others. To further increase their fashion profile, Target also created its fashion-forward [[Go International]] line, which hires famous designers to design collections available only for a few months. Target, after hiring architect Michael Graves to design the scaffolding used to renovate the [[Washington Monument]] and contributing $6 million [[USD]] to the restoration plan, introduced its first designer line of products in 1999, the Michael Graves Collection of housewares and home decor products.<ref name=michael_graves>[http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3092/is_1999_Feb_8/ai_53904958 Is Target making a Graves mistake?], ''Discount Store News'', February 8, 1999.</ref> [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Kmart]] have followed Target's lead by signing exclusive designers to their stores as well. Target also partners with well-established national brands to create exclusive collections for its stores. Recently, [[Sony]] created a line of electronics under the Sony LIV name geared toward women. The collection included a CD player that resembled a purse and a CD player that was equipped to be mounted under the kitchen counter. Another example of this is Target having an exclusive deal with [[Food Network]] for selling DVDs of TV shows featuring popular chefs such as [[Rachael Ray]], [[Alton Brown]], and [[Paula Deen]]. In July 2006, Target started selling two-tone pink edition [[Apple Computer|Apple]] [[iPod]]s through a partnership with [[Colorware]]. Sometimes manufacturers will create red-colored items, exclusively for Target. In 2002, [[Nintendo]] produced a red [[List of Game Boy colors and styles#Special Edition Variants 5|special edition variant]] of the [[Game Boy Advance]], which featured the Target logo above the screen.<ref name="gameboyadvance">[http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=8056 Target Gets Exclusive New GBA Color!], ''Nintendo World Report'', Billy Berghammer, November 25, 2002.</ref>


8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.
In 2005, [[Independent Film Channel|IFC]] began a partnership with Target to promote a selection of independent films, both in Target stores and on [[Independent Film Channel|IFC]] Monday nights at 9:00 p.m. Eastern. Originally titled ''IFC Cinema Red'', the promotion was rebranded on air as''The Spotlight'' in 2007. The in-store headers refer to the selected titles as ''IFC Indies - Independent films chosen for Target by the Independent Film Channel.''<ref>[http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb5057/is_200607/ai_n18406438 Target welcomes indies], BNET, July 2006.</ref>


Repeat as necessary.
===GiftCards===<!-- This section is linked from [[Target Corporation]] -->
The Target GiftCard is the retailing division's [[stored-value card]] or [[gift card]]. Target sells more gift cards than any other retailer in the United States and is one of the top sellers, by dollars and units, in the world.<ref>[http://www.secinfo.com/d11MXs.112p2.d.htm Target Corporation’s Third Quarter Earnings Release conference call], ''Securities Information from the SEC EDGAR database'', November 11, 2004.</ref> The unique designs of their cards contribute to their higher sales, as well as Target's policy of no expiration dates or service fees.{{Citation needed|date=September 2008}} Past and current designs include [[Lenticular printing|lenticular]], "scratch and sniff" (such as peppermint during the [[Christmas]] season), [[glow in the dark]], [[LED]] light-up, a gift card on the side of a [[Soap bubble|bubble blower]], a gift card that can function as a [[CD-ROM]], and even a giftcard that allows the sender to record a voice message. A current environmentally friendly giftcard is made from [[bioplastic]] manufactured from corn.<ref>[http://www.treehugger.com/files/2006/01/targets_bioplas.php Target's Bioplastic Gift Card], treehugger, January 31, 2006.</ref> Target rolled out a new MP3 player giftcard for the 2006 holiday season. It holds 12 songs and must be purchased with an initial value of at least $50.


5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Some of these unique design ideas are [[patent]]ed, and these patents are assigned to the Target Brands subsidiary. For example, some such Target GiftCard designs feature a wooden front side. On [[May 24]], [[2005]], the [[United States Patent and Trademark Office]] granted U.S. patent D505,450 for the "ornamental design for a credit or stored value card with wood layer" to inventors Amy L. Lauer and John D. Mayhew.<ref>{{US patent|D505,450|US design patent D505,450}}: Credit or stored value card with wood layer, U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.</ref> U.S. patent 7004398, for the "stored-value card assembly including a stored-value card, an edible product, and a wrapper", was granted to Michael R. Francis and Barry C. Brooks on [[February 28]], [[2006]].<ref>{{US patent|7004398}}: Stored-value card with edible product, U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.</ref> Both patents have been assigned to Target Brands, Inc.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens


== Conjunction With KFC ==
Target GiftCards are also collectors items. Some of the first gift cards issued are valued at over $300 (even though the card doesn't have any money on it). Every year Target introduces new Holiday GiftCards. In 2007, Target's Holiday GiftCards featured a wind-up flashlight, a musical gift card, a gift card that lights up, and a scented gift card.
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].


===ClearRx===
== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
{{Main|ClearRx}}
*[[Find the Taco]]
[[Image:Target ClearRx.jpg|280px|thumb|Target ClearRx prescription bottles.]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
In 2005, Target introduced a major revision of [[Prescription drug|prescription]] bottles, which it calls the [[ClearRx]] system. The redesigned bottles are color coded, flattened-out and turned upside down providing more room for the label. This system was based on the patent<ref>[http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=%2220030214129%22.PGNR.&OS=DN/20030214129&RS=DN/20030214129 US patent application 20030214129: Medication packaging and labeling system], U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.</ref> by student Deborah Adler and was named one of ''[[Time (magazine)|Time]]'''s "Most Amazing Inventions of 2005".<ref>[http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1129522,00.html Best Inventions 2005: Healthy Options], ''Time'', November 21, 2005.</ref>
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


==Philanthropy==
Target Corporation is consistently ranked as one of the most [[philanthropy|philanthropic]] companies in the country. It ranked #11 in Fortune Magazine's "Top 20 Most Admired Companies" for 2007, largely in part to the donation efforts of the company as a whole.<ref>[http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0802/gallery.mostadmired_top20.fortune/11.html Top 20 Most Admired Companies - Target (11) - FORTUNE<!-- Bot generated title -->]</ref> According to a November 2005 ''[[Forbes]]'' article, it ranked as the highest cash-giving company in America in percentage of income given (2.1%).<ref>[http://www.forbes.com/business/2005/11/11/charities-corporations-giving-cx_lm_1114charity.html The Most Charitable Companies], ''Forbes'', November 14, 2005.</ref> Target donates around 5 percent of its pre-tax operating profit; it gives over $3 million a week (up from $2 million in years prior) to the communities in which it operates. It also gives a percentage of charges from its Target Visa to schools designated by the cardholders. To date, Target has given over $150 million to schools across the [[United States]] through this program. Target's corporate by-laws state it must give 5 percent of its pre-tax profits to charity.<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-001811.html 5% Giving], "Target", Target's 5% giving policy, April 30, 2008.</ref>{{Citation needed|date=April 2008}}


{{tasty}}
Further evidence of Target's philanthropy can be found in the Target House complex in [[Memphis, Tennessee]], a long-term housing solution for families of patients at the city's [[St. Jude Children's Research Hospital]]. The corporation led the way with more than $27 million in donations, which made available 96 fully furnished apartments for families needing to stay at St. Jude over 90 days.


[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
Target has a standard no-solicitation rule at its properties, as it seeks to provide a "distraction-free shopping experience for its guests."
[[Category: Food]]
Exemptions to this policy were previously made for the [[Salvation Army]] red kettles and bell-ringers outside Target stores during the holidays through Christmas. In 2004, however, Target asked the organization to explore alternate methods to partner with Target. Target donates to local Salvation Army chapters through its grant program and annually to the [[United Way of America]] (the Salvation Army is a member of the United Way coalition).
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.


To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."
In 2005, Target and the Salvation Army<ref>[http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn%5Cwww_usn.nsf/vw-news/A2C8D799DEE5BE74802570B90052D6C7?opendocument Target and The Salvation Army Announce Partnership], The Salvation Army, November 14, 2005.</ref> created a joint effort called "The Target/Salvation Army Wish List," where online shoppers could donate goods to the organization for Hurricane victims by buying them directly from Target.com between [[November 25]], [[2005]], and [[January 25]], [[2006]]. In 2006, they created another joint effort called "The Target/Salvation Army Angel Giving Tree,"<ref>[http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn%5Cwww_usn.nsf/vw-news/C243B3583468A6E7852572260057D753?opendocument Target Launches Multi-Faceted Christmas Partnership With The Salvation Army], The Salvation Army, November 14, 2006.</ref> which is an online version of the Salvation Army's Angel Tree program;<ref>[http://target.com/salvationarmy Salvation Army Giving Tree], Target.com.</ref> in addition to donating proceeds made from the sales of limited edition Harvey Lewis angel ornaments within Target's stores. During the Thanksgiving holiday of 2006, Target and the Salvation Army partnered with magician [[David Blaine]] to send several families on a shopping spree the morning of [[Black Friday (shopping)|Black Friday]]. The challenge held that if Blaine could successfully work his way out of a spinning gyroscope by the morning of Black Friday, then several families would receive $500 shopping certificates. The challenge was completed successfully by Blaine.<ref>[http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,231713,00.html Magician David Blaine Ends Latest Stunt by Escaping From Gyroscope in NYC], FOXNews.com, November 24, 2006.</ref>


== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
During disasters, Target has been a major benefactor for relief efforts. Target provided monetary and product donations during the [[September 11 attacks]]; it also donated money for relief efforts for the [[2004 Indian Ocean earthquake|2004 tsunami]] in South Asia and donated $1.5 million ([[U.S.]]) to the [[American Red Cross]] in the aftermath of [[Hurricane Katrina]] in 2005. It also allowed its store properties in the affected area to be used as command centers for relief organizations. It also donated supplies such as water and bug spray. Besides these major disasters, Target also regularly lends support to disasters that are not as well known or only affect a regional area.{{Citation needed|date=September 2008}}
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.


The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].
==Environmental record==
Target Corporation agreed to reduce their sales on all materials containing [[polyvinyl chloride]] (PVC).<ref name="newswire1">http://www.ens-newswire.com/ens/nov2007/2007-11-12-092.asp Environment News Service November 12, 2007. Retrieved May 4, 2008</ref> Testers found toxic lead and phthalates and large amounts of PVC in toys, lunchboxes, baby bibs, jewelry, garden hoses, mini blinds, Christmas trees, and electronics.<ref name="newswire1"/> Several studies have shown that chemicals in vinyl chloride can cause serious health problems for children and adults.<ref name="newswire1"/> The University of Illinois Medical Center in Chicago states that people who use products containing PVC can become exposed with harmful toxic phthalates and lead, which eventually can become a big contributor with dioxins.<ref name="newswire1"/> Lois Gibbs, executive director of the Center for Health, Environment and Justice stated, "Target is doing the right thing by moving away from PVC and switching to safer alternatives."<ref name="newswire1"/> Other companies reducing the PVC on their shelves include Wal-Mart, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Nike, and Apple.<ref name="newswire1"/> Target stores have been taking environmental measures by reusing materials within their stores and recycling certain products like broken hangers, cardboard, rechargeable batteries, etc.<ref>http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-001095 Target Corporation 2006 Awards. Retrieved May 4, 2008</ref> Target is beginning to reduce energy use with energy-efficient storefronts, and reducing waste with recycling programs.<ref>http://www.practicalecommerce.com/articles/623/Green-Commerce-Is-Good-Commerce/ Practical ecommerce 2007. Retrieved May 4, 2008</ref>


On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"
Target released a 13-page report in 2007 that outlined their current and future plans for becoming more earth-friendly according to [[Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design|LEED]]. Such efforts include installing sand filtration systems for the store's wastewater. Recycling programs will be aimed at garment hangers, corrugated cardboard, electronics, shopping carts, shrink wrap, construction wastes, carpeting and ceiling tiles and roofing materials. All stores in [[Oklahoma]] will be partnered with [[Oklahoma Gas & Electric]] to exclusively use wind power for all Target stores in order to reduce [[Greenhouse gas|Carbon emissions]]. Stores nationwide use only [[Light-emitting diode|LED]] and [[Fluorescent lamp|fluorescent lights]] and low-flow restrooms that reduce waste water by 30%. Some Target stores are installing roof gardens or [[green roof]]s, which absorb storm water and cut down on [[surface runoff]], mitigate temperature fluctuations and provide habitats for birds. There are currently four green-roof Target stores in [[Chicago]].


== Controversies ==
Target carries over 700 organic and alternative products from brands such as [[Archer Farms]], [[Burt's Bees]], and [[Method Products]]. They also sell clothes made from organic cotton, non-toxic cleaners, low-energy lighting and electronics, non-toxic and non-animal tested cosmetics, and furniture made from recycled materials. {{As of|2007|6}}, Target has been offering reusable shopping bags as an alternative to disposable plastic bags. Target gift cards are made from corn-based resins. All of the stores' packaging is done with a modified paperboard/clamshell option and has goals for phasing out plastic wrap completely.<ref>Target Corporation. "Environmental Responsibility." Target Corporation Responsibility Report. June 2007. Date Accessed: 16 April, 2008: http://sites.target.com/images/corporate/about/responsibility_report/responsibility_report_environmental.pdf </ref>
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.


[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]
In collaboration with [[MBH Architects]], Target's first "green" building was a 100,000+ square foot Target store built in 1995 in [[Fullerton, California]]. It was a part of the EPA Energy Star Showcase for its use of skylights that cut the original energy consumption by 24% with a 5-year payback.<ref>Dobrovolny, Peter. Sustainability: High Performance Buildings Deliver Increased Retail Sales.” Seattle.gov. Date Accessed: 17 March 2008. http://www.ci.seattle.wa.us/light/conserve/sustainability/studies/cv5_ss.htm</ref> Target and MBH Architects were awarded the "Green Lights Partner/Ally of the Year Award".<ref>Brookter, Carolyn. "TARGET RECEIVES NATIONAL ENERGY-EFFICIENCY AWARD; EPA Partnerships Signify Commitment to Environment and Communities." Business Wire. 4 June 1996. Date Accessed: 16 April 2008. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_1996_June_4/ai_18355343</ref>


[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.
Target is the only national retailer employing a Garment Hanger reuse program, which keeps millions of pounds of metal and plastic out of landfills. In 2007, this program prevented 434 million hangers from entering landfills.


Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
==Target Forensic Services==
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"
<!-- Deleted image removed: [[Image:Target_Forensic_Services.jpg|180px|right|thumb|{{deletable image-caption}}]] -->
In 2006, ''[[The Washington Post]]'' revealed that Target is operating two sophisticated criminal [[forensics]] laboratories, one at its headquarters and the other in [[Las Vegas, Nevada|Las Vegas]].<ref>[http://www.azag.gov/StopMeth/RetailBusinessPerspectiveOnLawEnforcementPartnerships.pdf Target Corporation Assets Protection (PDF)], Office of the Arizona Attorney General</ref> Originally, the lab was created as an internal need for the company to investigate instances of theft and fraud and other criminal actions that have occurred on its own properties. Eventually, the company began offering [[pro bono publico|pro bono]] services to law enforcement agencies across the country. Target's Forensic Services has assisted agencies at all levels of government, including federal agencies such as the [[United States Secret Service]], [[Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms]] and the [[Federal Bureau of Investigation]]. The labs have become such a popular resource for law enforcement that Target has had to restrict its assistance to violent [[felony|felonies]].<ref name=police_work>[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/28/AR2006012801268.html Retailer Target Branches Out Into Police Work], ''The Washington Post'', January 29, 2006.</ref><ref>[http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/anderson.cooper.360/blog/2006/02/target-sets-sights-on-hard-to-crack.html Target sets sights on hard-to-crack cases], CNN, February 9, 2006.</ref>


It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.
==Criticism==
Practices that cause some concern include lack of a [[living wage]] certification, lack of [[labor unions]], and Target's contribution to [[urban sprawl]].<ref>[http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/20/news/fortune500/target_walmart/ Just call it 'Teflon' Target], CNN/Money, April 20, 2005.</ref> Liza Featherstone, contributing editor to the "The Nation" magazine and author of ''Selling Women Short: The Landmark Battle for Workers' Rights at Wal-Mart,'' stated the following in an interview.
{{cquote|"Aesthetically, we all like Target better, but their wages are in many places low or just as low, and they all represent the [[Walmarting|Wal-Martization]] of our economy, which is the exchange of low prices for poor work conditions."<ref>[http://www.stayfreemagazine.org/archives/23/wal-mart-liza-featherstone.html The Trouble with Wal-Mart], ''Stay Free!'', Fall 2004.</ref>|4=[[Liza Featherstone]]|5=''The Trouble with Wal-Mart: An interview with Liza Featherstone''}}


Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.
In addition to Target's lack of [[labor unions]], several employees have stated that, during new employee training sessions, videos and lectures included strong anti-union messages. Often, managers have threatened employees with losing their job if they are caught trying to organize a union, similar in fashion to [[Wal-Mart| Wal-Mart's]] practices.<ref>http://www.alternet.org/workplace/35610/?comments=view&cID=118628&pID=118609/ Target as Bad as Wal-Mart? You Decide</ref>


In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.
In 2002, the company was alerted to sporting caps and shorts having the number "88" embroidered on them. This number has been used by known [[white supremacist]] groups as slang for "[[Heil Hitler]]". A customer informed the company of the offensive merchandise. Target did not pull the merchandise or issue public apology until the [[Southern Poverty Law Center]] echoed its concern and the media began reporting on the issue.<ref>[http://www.bizjournals.com/twincities/stories/2002/08/26/daily26.html Target pulls '88' clothing from stores], ''Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal'', August 28, 2002.</ref>


== Latest Offerings ==
In 2004, the company's decision to bar the Salvation Army from soliciting donations at its stores generated much negative publicity (see ''[[#Philanthropy|Philanthropy]]'' section above). In addition, Target refuses to let [[Toys for Tots]] collect toys on their properties. Target said that, in the face of rising requests from other charities, it could no longer justify the exemption for the Salvation Army.<ref name=USAToday>[http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/retail/2004-12-06-target-salvation-army_x.htm Target sticks to its decision to bar Salvation Army kettles ]</ref>
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.


There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.
In 2005, [[Planned Parenthood]] protested Target policy involving a [[Conscience Clause (medical)|conscience clause]] that allows pharmacists to refuse to dispense the emergency contraceptive, Plan B [[Levonorgestrel]], based on religious beliefs, as long as the employee ensures that the prescription is filled by another pharmacist in a timely manner. Defenders of Target applaud the company for upholding the employee's [[freedom of conscience]], while critics feel this policy fails to uphold the pharmacist's [[duty of care]].<ref>Birth-control battle at Target; Planned Parenthood and Target Corp. dispute whose rights are more important: Customers who need emergency contraception or pharmacists who think it's immoral to provide it. ''Star Tribune''. November 11, 2005.</ref>


== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
In November 2005, the [[American Family Association]] criticized Target and other retailers for not using the word "Christmas" in its [[Christmas controversy|holiday advertising]]. Target responded by introducing words like "Christmas" and "[[Hannukah]]" on its website and in-store signage, and by showing holiday ads that included the phrase "[[Merry Christmas]]".<ref>[http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/target.asp Merry Christmas Target], Snopes.com, December 9, 2005.</ref><ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA5O7quyRY4&mode=related&search= Target 2006 TV commercial "Merry Christmas" 1], YouTube.com.</ref>
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.


Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.
In July 2007, Target Corporation was fined $120,000 by the [[United States Environmental Protection Agency]] for selling outlawed aerosol confetti string. The EPA said that the fine stemmed from Minneapolis-based Target's sale of Horrible Spooky String, a children's sprayable confetti product that violates the Clean Air Act because it contains banned [[hydrochlorofluorocarbons]] (HCFC). Such chemicals deplete the ozone layer and their sale or distribution in "non-essential" products has been prohibited in the United States.<ref name=biz>[http://www.bizjournals.com/twincities/stories/2007/07/09/daily20.html Target fined $120,000 for 'Spooky String']</ref>


David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".
On April 1, 2009, a Target store in [[Pikesville, Maryland]] was shut down by the local health department following a [[rodent]] infestation.<ref>http://www.wbaltv.com/news/19079801/detail.html</ref> During the previous month, the county had received complaints from customers of [[mice]] in the [[snack bar]] and bags of [[pet food]] that had been chewed open.<ref>http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30018479/</ref><ref>http://baltimorejewish.com/2009/04/02/pikesville-target-closed-until-further-notice/</ref>


==Diversity==
==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.


== How it Works ==
Target defines diversity as individuality. The company state this individuality may include a wide spectrum of attributes such as personal style, age, race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, language, physical ability, religion, family, citizenship status, socio-economic circumstances, education and life experiences.<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-002097 Diversity Statement], Target Corporation.</ref>


This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:
The Target employee diversity program is called "The Strength of Many. The Power of One."<ref>[http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?ref=nav%5Ffooter%5Fdiversity&contentId=PRD03-002096 Target Diversity Website], Target Corporation.</ref> It specifically seeks to work with vendors and contractors that are owned by minorities or women.<ref>[http://www.partnersonline.com/web-app/pol/diversity/diversityTemplate.jsp?pTitle=Supplier%2BDiversity&linkName=diversitySplash Supplier Diversity: Minority and Women Business Development Program], Target Corporation.</ref>


8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.
It has long extended domestic-partner benefits to straight, gay, and lesbian employees. It has received an 86 on the [[Human Rights Campaign]] Corporate Equality Index Score.<ref>[http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Search_the_Database&Template=/CustomSource/WorkNet/srch_dtl.cfm&srchtype=DS&searchid=6&orgid=1153 Target Corp.], The Human Rights Campaign.</ref> In addition, Target Corporation was named one of the "100 Best Companies for Working Mothers" in 2004 by ''[[Working Mother]]''.


3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."
The [[National Association for the Advancement of Colored People]] has repeatedly given Target failing grades on its annual Economic Reciprocity Initiative report card, a measure of the company's "commitment to the African-American citizenry". In 2003 and 2005, the NAACP has rated Target an "F" on this report; in 2004, Target was rated a "D-".<ref>[http://www.naacp.org/inc/docs/economy/economic_gen_merc_report_card-04.pdf 2004 NAACP General Merchandising Industry Report Card (PDF)], National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.</ref><ref>[http://www.naacp.org/news/press/2005-07-12/index.html NAACP 2005 Industry Surveys Give Five Major Industries "C" and "D" Grades], National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.</ref><ref> [http://www.naacp.org/inc/docs/economy/economic_gen_merc_report_card-05.pdf 2005 NAACP General Merchandising Industry Report Card (PDF)], National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.</ref> In 2006, when Target was asked why it didn't participate in the survey again,<ref>[http://www.naacp.org/advocacy/economic/reportcard/2006/generalmerchandising/ 2006 General Merchandising Industry Report Card], National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.</ref> a representative explained, "Target views diversity as being inclusive of all people from all different backgrounds, not just one group."<ref>[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/18/AR2006071800729.html NAACP Issues Corporate Report Cards], ''The Associated Press'', July 18, 2006.</ref>


3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.
==Major sponsorships==
[[Image:Target indycar.jpg|thumb|250px|The Target Chip Ganassi Racing IndyCar visiting Purdue University.]]


7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"
Target owns the naming rights to the [[Target Center]] and the forthcoming [[Target Field]] in [[Minneapolis]]. It also sponsors the [[NASCAR]] and is a long-time sponsor of the [[Indy Racing League|IndyCar]] racing teams of [[Chip Ganassi Racing]]. In the 2002 and 2003 NASCAR seasons, the #41 [[Chip Ganassi]] Target car was driven by [[Jimmy Spencer]]; for the 2004 season and 2005 seasons, [[Casey Mears]] drove the car. In 2006, [[Reed Sorenson]] took over the #41 when Mears moved to a different Chip Ganassi car on the same team. Sorenson drove the car through the 2008 season and Target has also had some major sponsorship time on the Ganassi Racing #40 car with [[Dario Franchitti]] and [[Jeremy Mayfield]] who subbed for the injured Franchitti. The 40 team has since been shut down. For 2009, the Target sponsorship moved to the #42 driven by [[Juan Pablo Montoya]] with the newly formed [[Earnhardt Ganassi Racing]]. Target also sponsors Earnhardt Ganassi Racing's #8 car driven by [[Aric Almirola]] , which it co-sponsors in some races with other sponsors such as [[Guitar Hero]] and [[TomTom]].
Target Corporation is also a major sponsor of the annual [[Minneapolis Aquatennial]], where it hosts the Target Fireworks Show. It is the largest annual fireworks show west of the [[Mississippi River]], and the fourth largest annual fireworks show in the [[United States]].<ref>[http://www.aquatennial.com/events.php?mode=detailEvent&EventID=273 Target Fireworks Show], ''2007 Minneapolis Aquatennial''.</ref>


7:26pm -- You give him your order.
Target also sponsors the [[Museum of Modern Art]] in [[Manhattan, New York]]. It hosts Target Free Friday Nights, providing to all visitors free admission to the museum during Fridays after 4 p.m. The company also hosts Target First Saturdays at the [[Brooklyn Museum]]. A similar Target-sponsored program at the [[Los Angeles County Museum of Art]] called "Free after Five" provides free admission in the evening throughout the week. Tuesdays are free at the [[Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago|Museum of Contemporary Art]] in [[Chicago]], [[Illinois]], courtesy of Target. In its hometown of Minneapolis, Target sponsors the Target Free Thursday Nights at the [[Walker Art Center]], where admission is free after 4 p.m. as well as in its sister-city Saint Paul hosting "Target Third Free Sundays" at the [[Minnesota Children's Museum]]. In [[Boston]], [[Massachusetts]], Target sponsors $1 Friday Nights at [[Boston Children's Museum]] from 5:00 - 9:00 p.m.


7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.
Target was the presenting sponsor of the annual [[Los Angeles Times Festival of Books]] on the campus of [[UCLA]].{{Citation needed|date=August 2009}} It is the founding sponsor of the [[Weekend America]] radio program. Target often supports major awards shows such as the [[Academy Awards|Oscars]], [[Emmys]], [[Grammys]], and the [[Golden Globes]]. In the past, it has participated in the [[Tournament of Roses Parade]] with a corporate float.


7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"
==See also==
* ''[[Career Opportunities (film)|Career Opportunities]]''
* [[National Federation of the Blind v. Target Corporation]]
* [[Target (Australia)]]
* [[Target Center]]
* [[Target Field]]
* [[Design For All (Target Corporation)]]


7:30pm -- You say yesno
==Notes and references==
{{reflist|2}}


[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
==External links==
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window
*[http://www.target.com/ Target.com] retailing website
**[http://www.targetcorp.com/ Target Corporation] corporate website
**[http://www.theamc.com The Associated Merchandising Corporation]
* [http://projects.flowingdata.com/target/ Growth of Target, 1962-2008]


7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.
{{Target Corp}}
{{Marshall Field's history}}
{{Minnesota Corporations}}


7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window
[[Category:Companies established in 1902]]
[[Category:Companies based in Minneapolis, Minnesota]]
[[Category:Companies listed on the New York Stock Exchange]]
[[Category:Retail companies of the United States]]
[[Category:Discount stores of the United States]]
[[Category:Clothing retailers of the United States]]


9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.
[[bg:Таргет Корпорейшън]]

[[de:Target Corporation]]
9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.
[[es:Target Corporation]]

[[fr:Target Corporation]]
10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit
[[la:Target]]

[[ja:ターゲット]]
10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping
[[pl:Target Corporation]]

[[ro:Target Corporation]]
12:43am -- You finish wiping
[[ru:Target Corporation]]

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text''''''[[Surgeon General|SURGEON GENERAL'S]] WARNING:''' Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature [[Tom Cruise|turd]]s, and [[George W Bush|explosive diarrhea]], followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls. [[Image:Taco_Bell.png|thumb|right|200px|It ''will'' get you!]]
----
== Background ==
{{wikipedia}}
Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of [[Mexifornia]]. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, [[Benedict XVI]]. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of [[New York]]. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up [[hobo]] as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the <strike>border</strike>toilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

== The Taco Bell Chihuahua ==
[[Image:sanchez.jpg|frame|Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, [[Dirty Sanchez]]]]
In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named [[Dirty Sanchez]]( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of [[fnord]] humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you [[herpes]].

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

== Controversies ==
In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food ''is'' 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

[[Image:ecoli_bell.jpeg|frame|Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.]]

[[Hitler Jr]] has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell"
After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

== Latest Offerings ==
The new ''E.Coli Supreme Grande'' has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of ''Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!''.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

== Taco Bell in Plop Culture ==
Pop artist [[Fergie]] has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know [[ass|what]] is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in [[New York City|New New York City]] is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible [[Redneck|NASCAR]] cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on [[Donald Trump]]'s head".

==Enchirito==
The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

== How it Works ==

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a [[click]] followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

[[Image:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg|thumb|Jesus Wore A Poncho in [[Triobite]] style.]]
7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap.
Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

== Conjunction With KFC ==
In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural [[Rhode Island]]. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and [[black people]].

== See also ==
*[[Poop Cuisine]]
*[[Find the Taco]]
*[[Feud Food: Drive-Thru Deathmatch]]
*[[I Am Going To Kill Your Brother]]
*[[Cheesy Gordita Crunch]]
*[[taco]]


{{tasty}}

[[Category: Poop Cuisine]]
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Mexican Food]]
[[Category: Things that may be out to get you]]
'''Bold text'''

Revision as of 00:52, 18 August 2009

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty

'Bold text'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Consuming Taco Bell by ANYONE may result in rectal injury, premature turds, and explosive diarrhea, followed by temporary feelings of euphoria followed by sharp pains and withdrawls.

File:Taco Bell.png
It will get you!

Background

Founded as a solution for America's growing waste problems, Glenn Bell discovered that by adding sour cream to the average pile of trash and then wrapping it in a tortilla, he could sell "tacos" to ignorant white America. To make his restaurants more authentic and to avoid paying those pesky labor fees, Taco Bell uses illegal immigrants from Costa Rica and Mexico as its primary workforce. Known for its tasty chalupas and infamous E. Coli wraps, its pastors make up nearly 12/18ths of the population of Mexifornia. In 2004, they reported forced donations north of 276 million dollars. However, most of these profits were spent on candy and giant lollipops, against the advice of Glenn "Taco" Bell's mother, who had wanted him to start a savings account to buy some storm windows. One of the biggest fans of Taco Bell is the Pope, Benedict XVI. Taco Bell's tacos, until very recently, consisted of rooster testicles plus the traditional pile of trash. Taco Bell briefly experimented with artificial rooster testicles (or "roosticles" as they were known) but has since promised to raise its standards and now exclusively uses premium horse cock. The horse cock meat within the tacos have been known to be of the highest quality outside of New York. Reno, Nevada, remains the only exception. Instead they choose to use ground up hobo as a substitute for horse cock in Taco Bell's tacos and burritos. Consequently, Reno, Nevada, also boasts the lowest homeless rate in the west.

To gain publicity, Taco Bell executives Ralph and Wendell, who routinely drank Yoo-Hoos out by the dumpster to get the taste and smell of the nastiest shit ever, came up with the slogan: "Run for the bordertoilet,you'll feel it in a bit."

The Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell's original (and thankfully retired) mascot, Dirty Sanchez

In the late 1940s, Taco Bell introduced its new God, a chihuahua named Percy. The dog was a hit, and was much better received than their previous mascot, a crack dealer named Dirty Sanchez( that fat mexican who mows your lawn), who died tragically trying to auto-falate himself with that thing dentists use to suck spit out of your mouth.

The chihuahua caught on with the American pubic, as well as the public, with his signature catchphrase "A mi me gusta penes gordos", which roughly translates to "I like me some fat cocks." The dog went on to save all of fnord humanity from their sins better than before, and created the dollar menu which will make you feel like hell and cures cancer but also gives you herpes.

On 07/22/2009, the dog died. The nasty little leg-humper finally croaked, probably as a result of eating the vile spew that the restaurants serve, purportedly being delivered as a somewhat food-like product. "Yo quiero artheriosclerosis!"

Controversies

In 2002 Taco Bell was sued by the country of Mexico for its' poor representation of Mexican food. The case reached the Supreme Court in 2006 and was decided in Taco Bell's favor when it was proven that, although Taco Bell's food is 83% more disgusting than real Mexican food, every portion contains at least 67% real Mexican body parts.

File:Ecoli bell.jpeg
Taco Bell now has withdrawn plans to target the strangely popular "People who want to get sick" market, and will no longer change their name to E.Coli Bell.

Hitler Jr has been rumoured to eat at Taco Bell, but he denies it.

Later cries from hardcore bestiality groups found offense in Taco Bell's 2004 slogan "Fuck you, Fuck everything, Taco Bell" After the ensuing bloody riots across Europe because of this controversy, it was more appropriately changed to "I'm going to get double fisted by two black midgets, then eat at Taco Bell!!!=)"

It has been recently rumoured that a future widespread epidemic of tuberculosis may, in fact, be associated with the Taco Bell franchise, hence the initials TB. This particular strain of the disease is said to be in a "sleeper" form, and will not awaken in customers' bodies until radiated by a signal generated from a tacky singing fish ornament in the Taco Bell CEO's office. Anyone who has ever consumed a regular bean burrito, any form of chalupa, or at least a single packet of the franchise's trademarked mild sauce is said to be subject to tuberculosis as soon as they are exposed.

Also, there is highly credible sources that says Taco Bell is a secret partnership with the Toilet Paper Conglomeration in that whenever you go to Taco Bell you get the super shits.

In more recent times Taco Bell caught fire, as chronicled in the song Danger! High Voltage.

Latest Offerings

The new E.Coli Supreme Grande has been test-marketed in the northeast, with awfully poor results. As a result, Taco Bell will no longer market this product. This echoes the failure of Chi-Chi's test-market of Green Onions...now with Hepatitis A!.

There are rumors that Taco Bell is considering the production of giant bell-shaped tacos, which consist of the taco salad shell being inverted thereby resembling a bell. Engineers are still working on how to keep the meat from falling out. Lettuce too.

Taco Bell in Plop Culture

Pop artist Fergie has mentioned Taco Bell as her restaurant of choice. She states in her recent song "Glamorous" that she still went to Taco Bell and that the drive through was "raw as hell." Therefore, one must avoid the drive through at all costs, because we all know what is "raw as hell" Fergie.

Taco Bellvue Hospital in New New York City is a very popular hospital. It now offers urine samples in collectible NASCAR cups.

David Letterman's only monologue jokes involve Taco Bell and "that thing on Donald Trump's head".

Enchirito

The Enchirito is a special burrito that sometimes shows up on the Taco Bell menu. Legend has it that it is the only item on their menu that does not cause violent diarrhea, which is why Taco Bell makes every attempt in the world to deny that it exists.

How it Works

This is what happens at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell:

8:04am -- You pull up to the little screen and wait.

3:12pm -- You hear a click followed by "Th*czz* for ch*czz* sing *czzz* ell. I'll be one s*czz* ond."

3:13pm -- You assume they said "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell. I'll be one second.

7:26pm -- You hear a click and then "Thank you for *czz*ing. May I take you're order?"

7:26pm -- You give him your order.

7:27pm -- You order the E. Coli burrito and some donkey cock.

7:29pm -- You hear a click and then "Would *czzz*ou like anything else?"

7:30pm -- You say yesno

File:Jesusworeaponcho.jpg
Jesus Wore A Poncho in Triobite style.

7:30pm -- You pull up to the first window

7:52pm -- Someone opens the window and takes your money.

7:53pm -- You pull up to the next window

9:47pm -- Someone gives you food. The order is wrong, but produces the same effect.

9:50pm -- You arrive at home and begin eating.

10:00pm -- You finish eating and immediately realize you need to take a shit

10:05pm -- You complete your shit and begin wiping

12:43am -- You finish wiping

12:44am -- You pull up your pants and walk back to the kitchen, happy that your horrific ordeal is over.

12:45am -- Suddenly shit sprays down your leg and into your mouth (which happens to be on the floor, awed at the amount of toilet paper it took to wipe)

12:49am -- You go back into the bathroom.

12:50am -- As you take off your pants, shit sprays onto the wall.

1:00 am -- After a few moments of agony on the toilet, the smell gets too bad, so you go into the hall, thinking your shit-fit is over.

1:01 am -- Something warm covers your legs...both of them

1:02 am -- Your dog licks your legs, and you realize you've been lying on the carpet, shitting yourself.

1:05 am -- You succumb to dehydration and pass out as your legs soak up the spicy yet somehow satisfying flavor of puke and crap.

3:00 am -- You wake up to find your dog dead and rotting in a pile of half-eaten shit.

5:00am -- You finish cleaning up the massive shit/blood stains all over your bathroom.

8:03am -- You go to Taco Bell again.

Repeat as necessary.

5:00 PM-You decide to sue Taco Bell franchise owner Jordan Chandler also called the Woon Doon Doon Doon man for some reason.He takes offense and tells you to eat his queso cuntwrap. Two years later-You and Jordan form the website Personal Teens

Conjunction With KFC

In 2006, Taco Bell joined forces with Kanye's Fuckin' Chicken to create a super resturaunt in the ghettos of rural Rhode Island. The result was bitchin'. It has since become a popular hangout for landscapers and black people.

See also


Template:Tasty Bold text

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