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COI Requests for Jardine Matheson (2 of 2)

Just some followup requests after last month, organized by section (I have a COI and am not editing page directly for that reason). A few facts still outdated, some typos, a few wording recommendations were things sounded awkward. Thank you kindly for considering helping :) JeanetteM2 (talk) 01:59, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Request - Intro Para Changes

  • Typo: 2nd sentence missing an "a" before "primary listing"
  • Remove Jardine Lloyd Thompson from subsidiary list in 3rd sentence (it was sold)
  • Replace It sponsors the Jardine Scholarship. with It set up the Jardine Scholarship in 1982 and established MINDSET, a mental health-focused charity in 2002.
Link 1: https://www.bangkokpost.com/life/social-and-lifestyle/1352983/the-chosen-one
Link 2: https://www.scmp.com/article/711667/breaking-mental-health-barriers
  • Cut or move 2nd to last sentence, as it randomly singles out the company's size 8 years ago: In 2013, both Jardine Matheson and Jardine Strategic were among the top 200 publicly traded companies in the world, as valued by market capitalisation.

Request - Post-WWII Changes

To add details from source, please replace this 1st sentence: In 1961, after the firm's flotation,[15] the landmark... with The firm [[initial public offering|listed]] in Hong Kong in 1961.<ref name="ARCHUB">{{cite web|url=http://archiveshub.ac.uk/features/03021205.html|title=Jardine Matheson Archives|publisher=[[Archives Hub]]|access-date=13 June 2011|url-status=dead|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110929001710/http://archiveshub.ac.uk/features/03021205.html|archive-date=29 September 2011}}</ref> The landmark...

Request - 1st Century Operations

Cut Jardine Lloyd Thompson from 2nd sentence listing current subsidiaries (it was sold).

Request - Dairy Farm Changes

2nd sentence

Reword The Dairy Farm group's retail operations range from supermarkets, hypermarkets and health and beauty to convenience and home furnishings stores, and operate under well-known local brands. as The Dairy Farm group's retail operations range from grocery retail and health and beauty stores to convenience and home furnishings, operating under a number of well-known local brands.

Fourth sentence
  • 4th sentence listing supermarkets: Add [[Yonghui]]
Link: https://www.reuters.com/article/yonghui-dairyfarm-idUSL3N10I5JV20150807
Alt link: https://www.ft.com/content/e1d4d1da-2208-11e4-9d4a-00144feabdc0
  • Please also add MarketPlace
Link: https://www.seafoodsource.com/news/environment-sustainability/hong-kong-s-supermarkets-making-slow-but-steady-improvements-in-sustainability-efforts
  • Remove: Shop n Save
Link: https://fox2now.com/news/haunting-images-show-empty-shop-n-save-stores-during-final-days/
  • Switch confusing Giant hypermarkets with hypermarkets under the Giant brand

Request - Mandarin Oriental

Final sentence, change from 74% to 79%

Link: https://www.jardines.com/en/companies/mandarinoriental.html

Request - Jardine Cycle

  • 3rd sentence, replace the number in employs some 201,000 people with 250,000 and add Myanmar and Thailand
Link: https://www.jcclgroup.com/AR2019
  • 4th sentence: add Myanmar as a country where the subsidiary operates
Link: https://www.jcclgroup.com/AR2019

Request - Astra International Changes

  • Replace the 1st sentence, Astra is Southeast Asia's largest independent automotive group. with the more broad and accurate; Astra is a diversified business group. The largest independent automotive group in Southeast Asia, it has seven primary businesses in Indonesia.
Link: https://www.jcclgroup.com/our-businesses/group-at-a-glance
  • In 2nd to last sentence, after heavy equipment sales, add and also general and life insurance.
Link: https://www.jcclgroup.com/our-businesses/group-at-a-glance/astra#conftext-4985
  • Final sentence, remove The group is also involved in retail banking through a stake in PT Bank Permata Tbk.
Link: https://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2020/04/22/astra-standard-chartered-sell-bank-permata-at-lower-price-to-bangkok-bank.html

Request - Corporate Structure

  • Change 4th sentence so it isn't missing the last Tai-pan: The 5th generation of Keswicks are also active within the organisation, Adam Keswick, son of Sir Chips Keswick is Deputy managing director. to The 5th generation of Keswicks are also active within the organisation, Ben Keswick, son of Simon, is executive chairman of Jardine Matheson Group and from 2012 to 2021 was Tai-pan. Adam Keswick, son of Sir Chips Keswick, is an executive director.
Link: https://www.rothschildandco.com/en/who-we-are/corporate-governance/supervisory-board/adam-keswick-profile/
  • Final sentence, change almost totally to the less surfery fundamentally since its foundation
 Done ~ Aseleste (t, e | c, l) 07:06, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
@JeanetteM2: Special:Diff/1017341794 ~ Aseleste (t, e | c, l) 07:07, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
@Aseleste: Thank you so much, I'm sure that took a bit of time - really nice to see the page looking updated and polished. JeanetteM2 (talk) 19:58, 16 May 2021 (UTC)