Talk:Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles (video game)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 12:36, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:18, 21 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Immediate Failures

~~It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria~~
~~It contains copyright infringements~~ - a copyvio check brought up very little
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include {{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
~~It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -~~

Links

External link is to "Official Japanese Site", should we not at least include the English version? Also, the wording is poor. Maybe "Square-Enix Official website (Japanese)", or similar. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:23, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- I've addressed this issue, but including the English site is problematic as it runs using Flash, which doesn't reliably archive, and as the site is long dead, the English web page seemed unnecessary for this article's completion. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:27, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
You are currently using some shortened format (Harvard Style citations), mixed in with traditional. These are generally for acedemic references, as you are simply noting who has stated this in the past. I believe (Although it's ambiguous) that the references are citing the instruction book, but this could easily be done as a cite book. I would recommend changing this Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:23, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:27, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The same is true for the added reference at the bottom, citing the instruction book. I'd have all of the citations as universal. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:23, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:27, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Nice archiving! Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:23, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
would the link to the VG portal, or WikiMedia/WikiQuote make sense for this article? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:23, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:27, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

Lede

"2003 in Japan and 2004 in Western territories." - Not a fan of the term "Western Territories", and it suggests that it was not only released everywhere in the West, but it was not released in other Eastern countries outside of Japan. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:34, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:21, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Wikilink schism. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:34, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Negated with some rephrasing. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:21, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Miasma" - I'm sure this is described later in the article, but if it's a name, it needs ital. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:34, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:48, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Square Product Development Division 2" is first mentioned in the lede, but it doesn't explain what it is. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:34, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- I've addressed this, I hope. I decided to do some rephrasing so it was a little less wordy for casual readers. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:21, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Multiple Crystal Chronicles games were later produced for Nintendo consoles" - These are sequels, yes? I'd mention that it's a series, and not simply games based on this video game (It's a tiny bit ambiguous) Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:34, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:21, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

Wording in general needs an overhaul in this section. It doesn't flow, and reads like a lot of disjointed sentences. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Is "Tipa Caravan" a name? If so, it should be ital Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"adventurers who travel the world searching for rare trees which produce a special substance dubbed "myrrh" which fuel the crystals protecting the world's settlements from the poisonous Miasma" - a lot of supposition here. Miasma really should have more information, as it's not really a normal thing. I'd also recommend changing the word "dubbed", as it suggests that the substance was found and named during the events of the game. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The game plays through a cycle of events; the caravanners set out from their village, travelling to the trees guarding the vessel which gathers the myrrh, exploring dungeons in which the trees reside, then return home to renew their village's protective crystal.[5]:12-13 - Is this really gameplay, or plot? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Players choose their player character - Rephrase. Either Player Characters are..., or players choose their character... Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
they can access two genders and four body types. - access sounds like a really poor word here. How can you access a gender? Could you not simply say characters can be male or female? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Each character's attributes are further customised by choosing the profession of their family" - reword. I'd also like to see an example as how this effects gameplay.
The main areas are dungeons which follow different environmental themes, such as a forest or abandoned mines - I'd remove "main areas", unless you can source it.
Progress through these areas relies on navigating the environment and solving puzzles. - What does navigating the environment mean? Surely you do that in every game? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The elemental affinity of the player's attacks can be changed using special crystals found in dungeons. - remove "Special". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Depending on player performance, points are awarded which are used to raise attributes. Artifacts found in dungeons can also be used to raise attributes when equipped to characters - shorten - Both of these sentences say the same thing! Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Multiplayer also unlocks an exclusive mini-game dubbed "Blaze's Caravans", a racing game played on the GBA - What type of racing game? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The type of radar and what it shows is determined by the color the player's Moogle is painted during stays in towns and visits to the Tipa Caravan's hometown - I know what a moogle is... But the casual fan is going to be very confused by this Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Overall this section needs cleanup. The last paragraph is pretty good though! Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:22, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- @Lee Vilenski: This was way too much to respond to each individually, so I'm doing a post down here. I've done my best to tidy up the section and address your concerns above. I've expanded on the pieces you noted as lacking, trimmed some sentences, removed superfluous info, and merged a few sentences together. As to the cycle of the caravan travelling and returning, that's tied as much to gameplay as story, and after my edits it should be clearer. On a personal note: I've always hated putting gameplay sections together, it's so much faff and not nearly as interesting as the narrative or behind-the-scenes stuff. --ProtoDrake (talk) 15:16, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's ok. I'll finish the rest tomorrow and then look back at this. I understand some people don't like putting these sections together. I quite like it, as it's explaining what the game plays like. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 16:02, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Synopsis

This whole section is criminaly under wikilinked. There are 5 paragraphs, and zero links. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
This should really follow WP:VG/MOS. So, Plot should be the stage two header, and Story be used as a header over plot. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Setting and characters

Crystal Chronicles takes place in an unnamed fantasy world. The world is inhabited by four different races. - Perhaps turn into one sentence.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
This whole section seems pretty in-universe. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Usually, we would overlay more about the setting of the game, and then move into the characters that inhabit this. There seems to be very little on the setting (Other than place names, and that it's nameless)Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
You mention that crystals run the cities, but the article says nothing about them. We need more information on the setting for it to be important. Otherwise, it's all plot.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
In the distant past - Please reword. For a start, this article says nothing about what time the events even take place. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

One big issue I have with the article as a whole is the use of the word: Caravan. Your dictionary has two meanings for the word, but I believe in this article, it's an in-game term, and means a party of people? (I may be wrong). In this case, I'd be very careful about the wording, and not use offshoots such as "caravanners", instead, "the members of the caravan".Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
This needs a serious copy-edit. The plot should be the summary of the game as a whole, wheras this seems to be a list of the events in the game. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
For example, "Hearing of the world's plight and the caravanners' efforts to help their home, the Carbuncles direct them to Mount Vellenge, the source of the Miasma. There they fight the Meteor Parasite to halt the flow of miasma once and for all. When the caravanners are about to strike the final blow, they are pulled into an alternate dimension: there they meet Mio, a girl-shaped being connected to peoples' memories" - This goes between event to event, but seems to have no reason for any of the plot being mentioned. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"While both feed on memories to sustain themselves" - This is not a sentence that can just be said, and not explained. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
As a whole, the plot section is not very well created. I'm usually pretty lenient on plots, as they don't need to be sourced, and they are very POV. However, they usually follow the same process as any story, they lay the initial setting, then what the issues are, and what the resolution is. This one isn't good enough for a GA. I'll take another look if you work on it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:08, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Lee Vilenski: I've seriously done my best with all this. I've deleted several non-essential elements, generally condensed events, and tried to make it less in-universe in tone. As to your issue with the plot being a series of discrete events, it's nothing I could help; it's actually structured like that regardless of how much it's written. And yes, Raem and Mio only appear at the end with a slightly nonsensical info dump. --ProtoDrake (talk) 19:42, 18 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Release

The game came packaged with a link cable for use in multiplayer - should be explained, or wikilinked to the GBA link cable Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It's already linked in gameplay, and I didn't want to double-link in the same article. I've added a truncated description. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:36, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

In North America, the game released the following year on February 9.[32] In Europe, the game was released on March 12 of that year,[33] while in Australia it released on March 19.[34] The game was published worldwide by Nintendo.[28][33] - Should at least once say that it's 2004. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:47, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Video game review aggregate site Metacritic gave the game a score of 80 out of 100 based on 55 reviews.[35] - Generally, we wouldn't have review scores if they are already in the table beside it in a GA. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:47, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The art design and music were given praise, but the story was considered lacking by several reviewers compared to other Final Fantasy games. The gameplay received praised for its implementation of multiplayer despite the hardware requirements and its detrimental effect on the single player campaign. - I know you are referring to many reviewers stating this, but it needs to be explained. Otherwise, it seems as though metacritic said this Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:47, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Usually, we would split a reception by topic, rather than by publication as it is here Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I chose by publication due to everyone saying virtually the same thing about each aspect with minor variations. Typically other reviewers for my GANs have frowned upon seemingly repeating the same praise or criticism over and over again. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:47, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, the reception section is actually rather good, outside of the above. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy

Overall, the legacy section is good. I'm a little confused as to why there is no Crystal Chronicles series article, as there are 6 games in this way. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:12, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

No-one's created it yet. I'm thinking that might change. It's one of my potential future projects. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:47, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Notes & References

"Shell company for Square (later Square Enix) Product Development Division 2" - Should probably be expanded, could be a bit confusing as to what is being said.
- Did my best with this. The note may need removing altogether. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:26, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Notes should have references with them for claims made, except for direct translations.
- Done --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:26, 13 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

ProtoDrake - I've completed my assessment as above. Please continue to update the article, and I'll give a final update tomorrow. However, if this were to pass, I would recommend that the article meet WP:VG/MOS in terms of headers, and an improvement to the GamePlay section. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:15, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
I did have to change "Sysnopsis to plot. Theoretically, if the gameplay section was shrunk, this could simply be a sub-section to fit with WP:VG/MOS
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
The sources are very good for the article
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
I would very much like to see a "Crystal Chronicles" series article, as I feel the final paragraph on the series is a bit lacking information.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
No Bias
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
Y
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
I would like to see some alt text on the images, which would be helpful, but not enough to force an issue.
Overall:
Pass/Fail: