Template:Did you know nominations/Mya (program): Difference between revisions
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::I would explain but it is time for [[tiffin]]. [[User:Belle|Belle]] ([[User talk:Belle|talk]]) 01:09, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
::I would explain but it is time for [[tiffin]]. [[User:Belle|Belle]] ([[User talk:Belle|talk]]) 01:09, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
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:::Don't choke on the cucumber... sandwiches. [[User:EEng|EEng]] ([[User talk:EEng|talk]]) 01:11, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
:::Don't choke on the cucumber... sandwiches. [[User:EEng|EEng]] ([[User talk:EEng|talk]]) 01:11, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
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Thanks for your review and copyedit Belle. As per the articles talk page, I am aware of the articles shortfall in not having any information on the programs cancellation. Unfortunately I just can't find any information on the cancellation; it seems to have just quietly disappeared after so much effort and advertising. I feel unsatisfied not knowing exactly what happened as well. EEng, now that the original hook has been approved, do you think we should change ALT1 from 'choked up halfway through a demo' to 'malfunctioned during a demonstration', that way we would have one innuendo hook and one hook that focuses on being as clear as possible. As per Belle's comments, ALT1 does look a bit odd as it currently stands. I loved your ALT2 btw, I literally laughed for a good couple minutes. I hope the admins choose to use that one anyway =D. [[User:Freikorp|Freikorp]] ([[User talk:Freikorp|talk]]) 01:49, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
Thanks for your review and copyedit Belle. As per the articles talk page, I am aware of the articles shortfall in not having any information on the programs cancellation. Unfortunately I just can't find any information on the cancellation; it seems to have just quietly disappeared after so much effort and advertising. I feel unsatisfied not knowing exactly what happened as well. EEng, now that the original hook has been approved, do you think we should change ALT1 from 'choked up halfway through a demo' to 'malfunctioned during a demonstration', that way we would have one innuendo hook and one hook that focuses on being as clear as possible. As per Belle's comments, ALT1 does look a bit odd as it currently stands. I loved your ALT2 btw, I literally laughed for a good couple minutes. I hope the admins choose to use that one anyway =D. [[User:Freikorp|Freikorp]] ([[User talk:Freikorp|talk]]) 01:49, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
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:I do try to spread joy and laughter wherever I go. [[User:EEng|EEng]] ([[User talk:EEng|talk]]) 02:16, 13 July 2014 (UTC) |
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Revision as of 02:16, 13 July 2014
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Mya (program)
- ... that Mya choked up halfway through a service for president Bill Clinton?
- Reviewed: Laura Fürst
Created by Freikorp (talk). Self nominated at 13:32, 7 July 2014 (UTC).
- "Service" makes no sense here -- I thought it must mean a religious service. From the article, the right word is demonstration (or we could say demo to be hip):
- ALT1... that Mya choked up halfway through a demo for president Bill Clinton?
- EEng (talk) 05:19, 9 July 2014 (UTC)
- Demonstration is a more accurate word for sure, I was hoping to use the word service (noun - synonyms include 'performance of one's duties' [1], which I think can technically work here) for its innuendo effect, but happy with your ALT1. Thanks for your comments. Freikorp (talk) 05:56, 9 July 2014 (UTC)
- Too good to pass up
- Demonstration is a more accurate word for sure, I was hoping to use the word service (noun - synonyms include 'performance of one's duties' [1], which I think can technically work here) for its innuendo effect, but happy with your ALT1. Thanks for your comments. Freikorp (talk) 05:56, 9 July 2014 (UTC)
- ALT2 ... that Mya choked while servicing Bill Clinton?
New enough, long enough, neutral enough, no close paraphrasing or copyvio in the sources I could check so I'm assuming the others will be OK too. ALT1 is fine (although "chok[ed] up halfway" is quoted in the article it would look a bit odd here). ALT2 is too much (won't SOMEBODY think of the children?!!?) Belle (talk) 00:32, 13 July 2014 (UTC) P.S. I forgot to say that the article finishes abruptly with no explanation as to why it was cancelled or whether it actually was (not a DYK matter but it leaves the reader unsatisfied) Belle (talk) 01:09, 13 July 2014 (UTC)
- From your tone it sounds like you believe there to be some inadvertent sexual meaning which makes the hook inappropriate for children. If so, can you please explain? I can be rather dense in such matters so please be as explicit as possible. Link to appropriate images if necessary. EEng (talk) 00:46, 13 July 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for your review and copyedit Belle. As per the articles talk page, I am aware of the articles shortfall in not having any information on the programs cancellation. Unfortunately I just can't find any information on the cancellation; it seems to have just quietly disappeared after so much effort and advertising. I feel unsatisfied not knowing exactly what happened as well. EEng, now that the original hook has been approved, do you think we should change ALT1 from 'choked up halfway through a demo' to 'malfunctioned during a demonstration', that way we would have one innuendo hook and one hook that focuses on being as clear as possible. As per Belle's comments, ALT1 does look a bit odd as it currently stands. I loved your ALT2 btw, I literally laughed for a good couple minutes. I hope the admins choose to use that one anyway =D. Freikorp (talk) 01:49, 13 July 2014 (UTC)